POLITICS

RICK SANTORUM PROBABLY SHOCKED HIMSELF WITH PRIMARY HAT TRICK

MICHELE BACHMANN SAYS GOP RACE MAY END SOON, OR NOT, OR MAYBE, OR CABBAGE

HILLARY CLINTON DEFINITELY NOT TRANSFORMING HERSELF INTO SUPER VILLAIN

MITT ROMNEY KIND OF CARES THAT PEOPLE THINK HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT POOR PEOPLE

GINGRICH REALLY WISHING FOR MOON DELEGATES AFTER GETTING TROUNCED IN FLORIDA

OBAMA OFFICIALLY WINS FIRST ROUND OF THE POLITICAL BATTLE OF THE BANDS WITH POOR SHOWING FROM ROMNEY

JOE BIDEN WOULD RATHER OSAMA WAS ALIVE RIGHT NOW

RON PAUL SAYS HE HAS NO INTENTION OF DROPPING OUT OR VOTING FOR HIMSELF

RICK SANTORUM’S PLAN TO GET OBAMA RE-ELECTED BY BEING CRAZY WORKING PERFECTLY

CANNIBAL COMMUNISTS RUNNING AMOK IN REPUBLICAN PARTY

DOUG FROM MILWAUKEE EMERGES AS SURPRISE FRONT RUNNER FOR REPUBLICAN NOMINATION

GINGRICH PROMISES MOON BASE FOR HIS MISTRESSES

WELL OF COURSE GINGRICH LIKES RONALD REAGAN NOW

BILL CLINTON NOT EYEING ANOTHER RUN FOR PRESIDENT, YET

AS PRESIDENT, GINGRICH WILL NEVER LIE ABOUT HAVING A BUNCH OF AFFAIRS

ROMNEY TAX RETURNS REVEAL HE MADE WAY MORE MONEY THAN YOU LAST YEAR

GABRIELLE GIFFORDS ANNOUNCES RESIGNATION TO SPEND MORE TIME, UH, SOMETHING

TSA DETAINS SENATOR RAND PAUL BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE

EVEN SOUTH CAROLINIANS SHOCKED THEY LET NEWT GINGRICH WIN PRIMARY

NEWT GINGRICH’S NEWEST MISTRESS ALSO REJECTS OPEN MARRIAGE ACCUSATIONS

GINGRICH’S EX-WIFE REVEALS HIM TO BE THE WEASEL EVERYONE KNEW HE WAS

PELOSI SAYS ROMNEY CAN’T WIN, NO ONE CAN WIN, AND THEY MIGHT AS WELL NOT EVEN TRY

MITT ROMNEY TRYING TO BUY ELECTION VICTORY THAT WAS ALREADY IN HIS GRASP

JOHN EDWARDS HEART NOT REALLY UP TO CRIMINAL CORRUPTION TRIAL

EVEN OPRAH DITCHES OBAMA, THOUGH THAT DOESN’T MEAN AS MUCH ANYMORE

ROMNEY’S ABILITY TO SPEAK FRENCH MAY TORPEDO PRESIDENTIAL AMBITIONS

MICHELLE OBAMA FURIOUS ABOUT ANGRY BLACK WOMAN STEREOTYPE

HARRY BELAFONTE CRITICIZES OBAMA AND SAYS HE WILL HAVE HIS DAY-O

HUNTSMAN BEHIND STEPHEN COLBERT IN SOUTH CAROLINA BUT STILL AHEAD OF OTHER

KEN STARR ASKS AMERICA IF IT WILL LET HIM VOTE FOR A MORMON

GINGRICH RECEIVES RINGING ENDORSEMENT FROM TODD PALIN

RICK PERRY PROMISES NEW TROOPS IN IRAQ TO COMBAT IRANIAN WARP SPEED TECHNOLOGY

PROSTITUTES AND PIMPS ACROSS THE NATION RALLY SUPPORT FOR RON PAUL

SECRET SURGERY TO IMPLANT A BACKBONE IN PRESIDENT OBAMA DECLARED A SUCCESS

SANTORUM SUCCESS IN IOWA SHOWS AMERICANS FINALLY READY FOR THE RELIGIOUS LOON THEY’VE ALWAYS WANTED

ROMNEY WINS IOWA IN SQUEAKER AND NOW MAY JUST BUY THE REST OF THE ELECTIONS

AS PRESIDENT, RICK SANTORUM WILL ENSURE ALL DEAD BABIES HAVE A HOME

VOTERS APPEAR INDIFFERENT TO MICHELE BACHMANN’S EXPERIENCE AS LONE TAX ATTORNEY IN 2012 RACE

RICK PERRY STILL ACTUALLY CAMPAIGNING IN IOWA AND ELSEWHERE

NEWT WEEPS AS IOWA SLOWLY SLIPS OUT OF HIS GRASP

RON PAUL GETS HEAT FOR SUPPORTING KELLY CLARKSON

NANCY PELOSI AND EVERYONE ELSE WANTS HER TO RETIRE

JON HUNTSMAN USING HIS COMPLETE AND TOTAL ANONYMITY TO HIS ADVANTAGE IN PRIMARY RACE

GINGRICH SAYS VIRGINIA BALLOT FAILURE EXACTLY LIKE PEARL HARBOR ATTACK THAT KILLED THOUSANDS

DONALD TRUMP NOT REALLY SURE WHAT HE IS ANYMORE

RON PAUL STILL WANTS HIS RACE WAR TO CONSUME THE COUNTRY

NEWT GINGRICH DOESN’T WANT ANY OF THEM GAY VOTES

PALIN MAY STILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT, THOUGH MAY QUIT BEFORE FINAL VOTE

IOWA WILL IGNORE ALL VOTES CAST FOR RON PAUL IN PRIMARY ELECTION

BACHMANN INSISTS THAT IRAN IS ONLY MINUTES AWAY FROM HAVING NUCLEAR WEAPONS

OBAMA WILLING TO BE SELECTIVE ABOUT THE VOTES HE RECEIVES NEXT YEAR

NEWT GINGRICH PLANNING ON BRINGING MASSIVE MOON MIRROR IDEA BACK AS PRESIDENT

DICK CHENEY MAKES TORTUOUS DECISION TO BOMB IRAN OVER DOWNED DRONE

OBAMA CONSIDERS DISBANDING CONGRESS ENTIRELY

MAGICAL TERRORIST PALESTINIANS ANGERING NEWT GINGRICH

HARRY REID SAYS JOBS AS MILLIONAIRES SIMPLY DON’T EXIST ANYMORE

OBAMA WILL TRY TO GET EVERYONE A JOB BY ELECTION DAY

TRUMP MAY HOLD DEBATE EVEN IF IT’S BY HIMSELF, MIGHT LIKE THAT BETTER ANYWAY

ERIC HOLDER PROUD THAT FAST AND FURIOUS WEAPONS WILL BE USED FOR YEARS TO COME

ROD BLAGOJEVICH READY TO SELL HIS SEAT IN PRISON TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER

PRESIDENT GINGRICH WILL MAKE SURE ALL POOR CHILDREN GET WORK

HERMAN CAIN DROPS OUT OF PRESIDENTIAL RACE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIS WOMEN

BACHMANN WILL ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE AS LONG AS IT IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN

GINGRICH HELPED DEFEAT COMMUNISM, TERRORISM, AND EVERY OTHER ISM IN THE WORLD

LATEST POLLS SHOW NEWT GINGRICH HAS PRETTY MUCH WON THE PRESIDENCY ALREADY

HERMAN CAIN MAY BOW OUT CITING LACK OF ROOM AT WHITE HOUSE FOR ALL HIS WOMEN

BILL CLINTON THROWS SUPPORT BEHIND NEWT GINGRICH PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN

NBC APOLOGIZES BUT SUGGESTS BACHMANN IS LUCKY THEY LET HER ON TV AT ALL

MOST MEMBERS OF CONGRESS DOING JUST FINE FINANCIALLY

CAIN PLEDGES TO HAVE KIDS LEARN CUBAN LANGUAGE IF ELECTED PRESIDENT

SARAH PALIN MAY HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH SHOOTING OF GABRIELLE GIFFORDS

WASHINGTON MAN ALL FIRED UP OVER UPCOMING ELECTION

EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS LOSING INTEREST IN INTERVIEWING MICHELE BACHMANN

NEWT GINGRICH READY TO DECLARE WAR ON IRAN OVER NUCLEAR STOCKPILE

RICK PERRY NOT EVEN SURE HE WAS AT DEBATE LAST NIGHT AT ALL

RON PAUL DECLARES OBAMA PRESIDENCY A DICTATORSHIP

WHITE HOUSE LIKELY FORCED TO SAY THERE IS NO UFO COVER-UP

RUDY GIULIANI SAYS HE HAS EVIDENCE OBAMA OWNS OCCUPY WALL STREET MOVEMENT

AIN’T NOTHING STOPPING THE CAIN TRAIN, EVEN SEX ALLEGATIONS YO

OBAMA GAINS SUPPORT FROM GOD FOR JOBS BILL

HERMAN CAIN PROMISES TO MAKE UP BUDGET SHORTFALLS WITH PIZZA DELIVERY

MICHELLE OBAMA SAYS REPUBLICANS WILL LIMIT FREEDOM OF SPEECH, BEFORE SHUTTING UP

OBAMA DITCHES CELEBRITIES; HOLLYWOOD GOES REPUBLICAN

STEVE JOBS MAKING POLITICAL PREDICTIONS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

DON’T SCREW WITH BIDEN, SAYS BIDEN

KARDASHIAN FAMILY MAY CUT OFF RELATIONS WITH WASHINGTON AFTER SNUB

PRESIDENT LEFT SPEECHLESS OVER THEFT OF SEAL, TELEPROMPTERS

HERMAN CAIN SETS OFF ELECTRIFYING DEBATE ON BORDER FENCE

APOLOGY REJECTED, JAPAN WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE U.S. FOR HIROSHIMA

NEW MEMO POLICY WILL ALLOW THE PRESIDENT TO KILL ANYONE HE WANTS

MICHELE BACHMANN BLAMES OBAMA FOR DEATH OF JOBS

PALIN SAYS NO TO 2012 HALFWAY THROUGH CAMPAIGN SEASON

OBAMA DAUGHTERS OFFICIALLY JOIN WHITE HOUSE STAFF

CHRIS CHRISTIE WILL SPEND PRESIDENTIAL RACE ON TREADMILL

FORMER OBAMA ADVISOR PLOTTING AFRICAN-STYLE REVOLT IN U.S.

HERMAN CAIN UNCOVERS PLAN TO BRAINWASH BLACK COMMUNITY INTO VOTING DEMOCRAT

OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PREPARING FOR OFFICIAL VISIT FROM HEZBOLLAH LEADER

HERM CAIN CONSIDERING RUN AT PRESIDENT OF FLORIDA AFTER STRAW POLL WIN

DNC CHAIRPERSON GUARANTEES JEWISH VOTE FOR OBAMA

LONG TIME PRESIDENTIAL CONFIDANTE TONY BENNETT SPILLS ON BUSH AND IRAQ WAR

OBAMA MAY JUST WITHDRAW FROM 2012 PRESIDENTAL RACE

RON PAUL READY TO SACRIFICE EVEN MORE EMPLOYEES TO GAIN PRESIDENCY

INSIDER CLAIMS SARAH PALIN WAS ONLY SNIFFING SNOW OFF 55-GALLON OIL DRUM

SARAH PALIN OFFERS HER OWN JOBS PLAN FOR THE NATION

GEORGE BUSH GRUDGINGLY TAKES FULL CREDIT FOR KILLING BIN LADEN

BOEHNER IN TEARS AFTER OBAMA’S SPEECH TO THE NATION

BACHMANN’S CAMPAIGN MANAGER QUITS AFTER SHE NEARLY GIVES HIM A STROKE

JIMMY HOFFA VOWS WAR ON REPUBLICANS FAR AWAY FROM GIANTS STADIUM

OFFICIALS MAY TEAR DOWN WASHINGTON MONUMENT AFTER NEW DAMAGE DISCOVERED

CHRISTINE O’DONNELL’S BOOK TOPS DELAWARE BEST-SELLER LIST

WHITE HOUSE CONSIDERING FIRST STRIKE NUCLEAR OPTION AGAINST HURRICANES

BERNANKE JUST CAN’T BE BOTHERED HELPING THE ECONOMY ANYMORE

RICK PERRY MAY MOVE THE CAPITAL TO TEXAS IF ELECTED

REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES CHECKING INTO FOURSQUARE AFTER OBAMA JOINS

RUMOURS SUGGEST RICK PERRY MAY SELECT GOD AS VICE-PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE

REPORTS INDICATE HOLLYWOOD PRODUCERS WERE PART OF TEAM THAT KILLED BIN LADEN

GABRIELLE GIFFORDS NOT REALLY WHAT SHE VOTED FOR IN RETURN TO HOUSE

GOP PLAN TO STEAL CHRISTMAS UNCOVERED BY WHITE HOUSE

OBAMA’S POPULARITY SPIKES IN EUROPEAN STATES

MICHELE BACHMAN PROMISES TO RESTORE SLAVERY-ERA FAMILY VALUES

TIM PAWLENTY COURTING LADY GAGA AS VICE PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE

JOHN MCCAIN RULES OUT 2012 PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN BUT MAY TRY AGAIN IN THE FUTURE

OBAMA TAKES FIRE FOR DRY WEATHER FIREWORKS CANCELLATIONS

FBI REQUESTS CHAT WITH MICHELE BACHMANN AFTER SHE CLAIMS AFFINTY FOR JOHN WAYNE GACY

KARL ROVE TELLS OBAMA TO JUST NOT BOTHER RUNNING IN 2012

MITT ROMNEY PROMISES TO GET A NEW JOB IF PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN FAILS

STEPHEN BALDWIN CONSIDERING RUN FOR MAYOR OF LONG ISLAND

ANTHONY WEINER LIKELY IN A LOT OF TROUBLE WHEN HIS WIFE GETS HOME

MICHELE BACHMANN CAMPAIGNS FOR MICHELE BACHMANN’S CANDIDACY

MITT ROMNEY VOWS TO FIGHT VAMPIRES IF ELECTED PRESIDENT

DONALD TRUMP MAKES DECISION TO SERVE THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

EVEN BIN LADEN WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH JOE BIDEN’S COMMENTS

GEORGE W. BUSH UNLIKELY TO CLAIM BIN LADEN DEATH REWARD

JOEY LAWRENCE THROWS SUPPORT BEHIND DONALD TRUMP FOR 2012

DONALD TRUMP DEMANDS OBAMA RELEASE BIN LADEN DEATH CERTIFICATE

OBAMA’S FATHER FORCED OUT AT HARVARD

EVEN IF HE RUNS, DONALD TRUMP TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE VOTE FOR HIM

HENRY KISSINGER ORDERS GROUND INVASION OF LIBYA

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CONSIDERING RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD

CHARLES MANSON FINALLY WEIGHS IN ON 2012 ELECTION

NEW EVIDENCE SHOWS ALIEN CONSPIRACY MAY HAVE KILLED JFK

JIMMY CARTER SCOUTING OUT SUMMER HOME IN CUBAN COUNTRYSIDE

COCA-COLA PARTY TAKING STEAM OUT OF POTENTIAL TEA PARTY CANDIDATES

GUY WHO NAMES THINGS CANNED AFTER ‘ODYSSEY DAWN’ DRAWS RIDICULE

OBAMA TO TAKE ON GLOBAL SPREAD OF VEGEMITE

BERLUSCONI UNDERGOES FACIAL SURGERY IN EFFORT TO ESCAPE SEX SCANDAL

SARAH PALIN PRACTICING WITH PEACE PIPE AHEAD OF TRIP TO INDIA

MIKE HUCKABEE STILL TRYING TO COVER UP NATALIE PORTMAN PREGNANCY

SARAH PALIN CONSIDERING RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF TWITTER

OBAMA MULLING OVER REQUEST TO FREE CHARLES MANSON

RUSH LIMBAUGH BATTLES MICHELLE OBAMA IN EFFORT TO BECOME NEW HEALTH FOOD GURU

HEALTHCARE PLAN GAINS NEW STRENGTH AFTER JUSTIN BIEBER SHOWS SUPPORT

JOHN BOEHNER IN TEARS AFTER BURNING TONGUE ON HOT SOUP

OBAMA ADMINISTRATION WEIGHING BAILOUT FOR FORMER CEO'S AND TALK SHOW HOSTS

HAWAII MISPLACES OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE BUT WILL GET AROUND TO FINDING IT

SHOCK: TALIBAN CRITICIZES U.S. OFFICIALS

JOE BIDEN SAYS HIS GAY MARRIAGE IS INEVITABLE

OBAMA’S STILL CAN’T GET BILL CLINTON TO LEAVE THE WHITE HOUSE

OBAMA ORDERS WORK ON SOLAR DEATH RAY

U.S. GOVERNMENT TURNING THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK TO DRUM UP FUNDS

JULIAN ASSANGE OUT OF WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS PARTY AFTER LATEST WIKILEAKS RELEASE

OBAMA GETS PAYBACK IN BASKETBALL GAME WITH DAUGHTERS

SARAH PALIN LOOKING TO PLUMP UP AMERICA’S CHILDREN

CRITICS RILED AFTER PARDONED TURKEYS SPEND NIGHT IN SWANKY HOTEL

SARAH PALIN STARTING TO EMULATE HILLARY CLINTON; BILL DOWN

BUSH STILL CONSIDERING BOMBING SYRIA

TEA PARTY ATTACKS OBAMA AFTER HE FAILS TO CALL WORLD SERIES CHAMPS

CONSERVATIVE PARTY VOLUNTEERS TO HELP MINORITIES VOTE

BILL CLINTON FINDS NUCLEAR CODES IN OLD JACKET

CONDOLEEZZA RICE FOUND ALIVE AND WELL AFTER EXHAUSTIVE SEARCH

MEG WHITMAN PROMISES TO BRING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO SACRAMENTO IF ELECTED

CHRISTINE O’DONNELL SUCCESS SHOWS AMERICA TURNING TOWARDS WITCHCRAFT

ARIZONA GOVERNOR TRIES TO BURY HEADLESS BODIES ALONG BORDER

WITH FORTY PERCENT OF THE VOTE, SARAH PALIN READY TO BE PRESIDENT

OBAMA TAKING HEAT FOR TRIBUTE TO HURRICANE KATRINA VICTIMS

OBAMA’S GROWING UNPOPULARITY IN THE MUSLIM WORLD ABOUT THE SAME AS EVERYWHERE ELSE

PEOPLE SUDDENLY INTERESTED AS LESSER CLINTON GETS MARRIED

OBAMA SWAMPED WITH VACATION PLANS

CHENEY HAS MECHANICAL BLOOD PUMPING DEVICE IN HIS CHEST REPAIRED

OBAMA MAKES PLANS TO ATTACK SPACE

HELEN THOMAS DEPORTING JEWS IN RETIREMENT

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER STILL DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO VOTE

POLITICIANS  APPARENTLY THINK PEOPLE STILL CARE WHAT PAUL MCCARTNEY SAYS

GLOBAL WARMING PUTS AN END TO AL GORE’S MARRIAGE

RICHARD BLUMENTHAL RECALLS THE HORROR OF VIETNAM WAR MOVIES

ATTORNEY GENERAL HOLDER DECIDES TO NOT READ ANY MORE LAWS

BOBBY JINDAL TO ASK BP TO ERECT MASSIVE OIL SHIELD

OBAMA AND KARZAI JUST CAN’T QUIT EACH OTHER

JAY LENO ‘ENTERTAINS’ AT WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT’S DINNER

PROPOSAL TO REINTRODUCE DUELING IN WASHINGTON SPEARED IN CONGRESS

MAN ACCUSED OF THREATENING NANCY PELOSI TO UNDERGO EVALUATION BY GOP

MICHAEL STEELE RESTING IN VEGAS AFTER WORST WEEK EVER

REPUBLICANS BELIEVE THAT OBAMA MAY BE THE ANTICHRIST

BABY KILLERS SHARPENING THEIR KNIVES AS HEALTH CARE BILL PASSES

POLL FINDS EIGHTY PERCENT OF SERIAL KILLERS VOTE REPUBLICAN

MIKE HUCKABEE COMES OUT IN DEFENCE OF CANNIBALISM

TEA PARTY PROTESTS PORTRAYAL IN CAPTAIN AMERICA, ZIGGY

SENATE DEADLOCKED OVER SNOWBALL FIGHT PROPOSAL

RAHM EMANUEL APOLOGIZES FOR REALLY RETARDED REMARK

SCOTT BROWN ELECTION PROMPTS RETIREMENT TALK FROM OBAMA

JOHN EDWARDS SEX TAPE TO HELP ERECT NEW CAREER PATH

OBAMA WADES INTO POP-SODA DEBATE

OBAMA SHORTLISTED FOR BEST DIRECTOR OSCAR

GEORGE BUSH FINDS MILLIONS OF MISSING EMAILS INSIDE HIS COMPUTER

PALIN PULLS CLOSER TO OBAMA IN POPULARITY POLL THAT MEANS NOTHING

OBAMA REACHING OUT TO ANGELINA JOLIE

OBAMA SLIGHTLY INJURED AFTER BOW TO ROOM SERVICE RESULTS IN FALL

BARACK OBAMA GIVES HOPE TO PRE-SCHOOLERS APPLYING FOR NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

SARAH PALIN MEMOIR TOPS BEST SELLER LISTS DESPITE LACK OF PICTURES

OBAMA ADMITS HE WAS BLACK BEFORE THE ELECTION

U.S. GOVERNMENT STARTS PREPARING FOR ZOMBIE OUTBREAK

OSAMA BIN LADEN OFFERS ENCOURAGEMENT TO PRESIDENT OBAMA IN LATEST TAPE

PAT BUCHANAN COMES TO HITLER’S DEFENCE; PREPPING 2012 RUN?

KENNEDY CURSE FINALLY GETS BROTHER TED

OBAMA JUST GIVING UP ON HEALTHCARE REFORM

SOTOMAYOR CONFIRMED; VOWS REVENGE ON THOSE WHO VOTED AGAINST HER

CLINTON SAVES JOURNALISTS BUT DOESN’T END NORTH KOREAN TYRANNY

COUGAR SARAH PALIN BACK ON THE MARKET WITH IMPENDING DIVORCE

OBAMA’S BEER CHOICE BLASTED BY GOP

COMEDIANS AT A LOSS WITH PALIN RESIGNATION

CRITICISM MOUNTS OVER OBAMA FLY SWAT

SOTOMAYOR’S COMMITMENT TO FOLLOWING THE LAW CONCERNS SENATORS

RONALD REAGAN’S GHOST COMES BACK TO LEAD REPUBLICAN PARTY

PRESIDENT OBAMA SUPPORTING IRANIAN NUCLEAR AMBITIONS

OBAMA SPEECH DOES NOTHING FOR ABORTED NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL TEAM

RNC HEAD LOOKING TO ELIMINATE MARRIAGE TO HELP SMALL BUSINESSES

OBAMA APOLOGIZES FOR AFGHAN DEATHS BUT OFFERS NO HELP IN RESURRECTION

WASHINGTON ON ALERT AS MAINE BECOMES LATEST PINK STATE

SILVIO BERLUSCONI TOO POPULAR FOR MARRIAGE

GEORGE BUSH POLLING NUMBERS FALL TO RECORD LOWS

BOSTON POLICE TROLLING CRAIGSLIST FOR VICTIMS

OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO ROUND UP HOMELESS PEOPLE

AMERICANS FORGETTING HOW TO COUNT TO DEMOCRACY

WASHINGTON POST BREAKS NEWS ON OBAMA FAMILY PUPPY

BIDEN DAUGHTER BRINGS WHITE BACK INTO WHITE HOUSE

CRITICS FEAR OBAMA TELEPROMPTER WILL LEAD TO ROBOT INVASION

SPECIAL OLYMPICS CHALLENGES OBAMA TO COUNT TO POTATO

NATIONAL GROCERS ASSOCIATION TO PROTEST WHITE HOUSE GARDEN

FATHER OF REPUBLICAN PARTY CHOOSES TO ABORT REPUBLICAN IDEALS

NANCY PELOSI STILL LOOKING TO JOIN MILE HIGH CLUB

OBAMA CROWNS COKE AS THE CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION

PALIN’S TEEN DAUGHTER WISHES PREGNANCY CAME LATER; NO ONE CARES

STORMY DANIELS PURSUING SENATE SEAT AS PORN INDUSTRY CONTINUES TO SLIDE

DIANNE FEINSTEIN HIDING CHILD PORNOGRAPHY IN STIMULUS BILL

PRESIDENT OBAMA AVOIDS ASSASSINATION FOR DAY ONE; UP NEXT, DAY TWO

CAROLINE KENNEDY TO SEEK SENATE SEAT AND BULLET PROOF HELMET

BUSH SHOE ATTACK ILLUSTRATES FAILURE OF SHOE STORE RECONSTRUCTION

JOE THE PLUMBER BASHES MCCAIN WITH SHOCKING DISPLAY OF READING SKILLS

REPUBLICAN PARTY MULLS MAKEOVER; VOWS TO SHED RED

WASILLA ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TO GIVE SARAH PALIN HONOURARY THIRD GRADE DIPLOMA

KKK ENDORSES BIDEN FOR 2012 RE-ELECTION

GOD MAKES DECISION FOR UNDECIDEDS WITH DEATH OF OBAMA’S GRANDMOTHER

SARAH PALIN FALLS FOR PRANK CALL TO ABSOLUTELY NO ONE’S SURPRISE

MAVERICK PALIN ENDORSES OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT

JESSE JACKSON CREDITS BIN LADEN FOR OBAMA SUCCESS

ACORN ENCOURAGING NON EXISTENT REGISTRANTS TO ACTUALLY VOTE

SARAH PALIN HAS FEELINGS HURT OVER CLOTHING CONTROVERSY, NO ONE APOLOGIZES

GEORGE BUSH COUNTING DOWN THE SLEEPS UNTIL HE CAN LEAVE OFFICE

ZOGBY SHOWS MCCAIN LOSING TRACK OF NASCAR VOTE

BARACK OBAMA PROMISES DIAPER CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN

BARACK OBAMA FALLS ASLEEP AT RALLY

WITH POWELL ENDORESMENT OBAMA CORNERS SUPPORT FROM EVERY IMPORTANT CELEBRITY

BARACK OBAMA AND SARAH PALIN MAKE SHOCK APPEARANCE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS

FANNIE MAE ISSUES EARLY FORECLOSURE WARNING ON SARAH PALIN’S CAREER

CNN PEOPLE METER BIG WINNER OF PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES

JOHN MCCAIN TO PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE IN FINAL DEBATE

PALIN ABUSED POWER IN TROOPER FIRING: MAVERICK STATUS INTACT

OBAMA / MCCAIN DEBATE RESULTS IN: NOTHING

BREAKING: JOHN MCCAIN TO QUIT CAMPAIGN TO FOCUS ON FAILING BANK ACCOUNT

GEORGE BUSH GIVES NEW DIRECTIVE TO FIND BIN LADEN: GOOGLE IT

JOE BIDEN AND SARAH PALIN TO FACE OFF IN BATTLE OF GAFFES

SARAH PALIN TO GET FIFTH GRADE GEOGRAPHY LESSON

JOHN MCCAIN SUSPENDS CAMPAIGN, SELLS HOUSES

BEFORE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE SARAH PALIN APPROVED ESCALATORS TO NOWHERE

UNVEILED: SECRET WHITE HOUSE PLAN TO LOCK UP TELEVISIONS, COMPUTERS

JOHN MCCAIN CONFUSED OVER SARAH PALIN EMAIL HACKING, WATERGATE CONSPIRATORS JEALOUS

BARACK OBAMA BRINGING HOME THE BACON WITH PIG REMARK

9/11 CELEBRATIONS ON PACE FOR RECORD YEAR

JOHN MCCAIN VET VETTING VETTER

DEMOCRATS JUMP ON MCCAIN’S GIRLY PICK

KENNEDY’S DRAMATIC RETURN A LET DOWN AT DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION

JOHN EDWARDS ADMITS AFFAIR WASN’T ALL THAT GOOD ANYWAY

DETROIT RESIDENT INDIFFERENT TO MAYOR KWAME KILPATRICK ARREST

FAKED IRAQ LETTER LINKED TO FAKE PRESIDENCY

OBAMA RAISING SUPPORT FROM THE DEAD

THE NEW POLITICAL CORRECTNESS; UN-SKINNY, UN-TALL, UN-WHITE

IS BUSH DUMB OR JUST STUPID?

CNN PREDICTS ELECTION PREDICTION

JOHN MCCAIN TO SPEAK IN BERLIN, NEW HAMPSHIRE

RALPH NADER PLAYS THE IRRELEVANCY CARD