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SCRAPE TV NEWS STAFF
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Dave Dalkin
Business
William Ashford
Health
Lauren Hebert
U.S.A.
Mike Michaels
Everyone Else
Emil Uliya
Science
Anna Phillips
Sports
Alexi Orton
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Douglas Havermore
Politics
Edward Bastil
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Samantha Dryden
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Martin Philton


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SPORTS

DAVID BECKHAM’S FACE UNAFFECTED BY DEVASTATING INJURY
FACING RAPE ACCUSATIONS, BEN ROETHLISBERGER LEAVES TOWN FOR GREENER PASTURES
MLB OFFICIALS ADMIT BASEBALL LARGELY AN EXCUSE FOR GROUP SHOWERS
LINDSEY VONN ALREADY REALLY ANNOYING
FOR SOME REASON BASEBALL SPRING TRAINING BEGINS
DANICA PATRICK UNSURPRISINGLY CAUSES MASSIVE CRASH IN NASCAR DEBUT

GEORGIAN OFFICALS SUSPECT RUSSIAN INVOLVEMENT IN LUGER’S DEATH

SERENA WILLIAMS EQUALS BILLIE JEAN KING, TURNS EYE TOWARDS WOMEN

IOC CONSIDERING BID FROM HAITI FOR 2018 WINTER OLYMPICS

ARENAS, CRITTENDON OUT FOR SEASON; WILL MISS BRING YOUR GUN TO WORK DAY

GILBERT ARENAS MAY TRANSITION TO AFGHAN WAR AFTER NBA OUSTER

NBA CONCEALED GUN POLICY UNDER FIRE AFTER GILBERT ARENAS INCIDENT

NFL PLAYERS TO DONATE BRAINS TO SCIENCE, NHL PLAYERS NOT SO MUCH

TIGER WOODS TAKES UNEXPECTED BREAK FROM GOLF

DANNY GREEN DEFEATS ROY JONES JR IN NEW SPORT CALLED ‘BOXING’

WIFE ELIN DECLINED CHANCE TO REPLACE TIGER WOODS IN GOLF TOURNEY

BUCCANEERS COACH READY TO FIRE HIMSELF

TIGER WOODS INCONSOLABLE AFTER BEING BOOED AT CAL-STANFORD GAME

DETROIT LIONS STILL HAVING TROUBLE WITH OBLONG BALL

DESPITE HARD WORK AND MASSIVE WEALTH WIZARDS OWNER DIES AT 85

WOMEN’S RIGHTS GROUPS CELEBRATE WIN AT BREEDER’S CUP

TIM DONAGHY MAKES HIS WAY TO VEGAS AFTER RELEASE FROM PRISON

MARK MCGWIRE WARMING UP NEEDLES AS HE TAKES ON CARDINALS COACHING JOB

DOLPHINS CAUGHT ON FILMS USING JELLYFISH AS FOOTBALL

OAKLAND RAIDERS FINALLY INFORMED THAT THE SEASON HAS STARTED

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS JUST FINE WITH NOT WINNING STANLEY CUP

DETROIT LIONS PLAN REBOUND AFTER DEVASTATING WIN

KNICKS LIKELY TO FIELD A TEAM FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS AT LEAST

BRETT FAVRE PROMISES TO PUT INTERCEPTION RECORD OUT OF REACH

TIGER WOODS THREATENS TO QUIT IF HE CONTINUES TO LOSE

STEPHON MARBURY REVEALS NBA’S DIRTY VASELINE SECRET

NFL LETS THE DOGS OUT AND REINSTATES MICHAEL VICK

STEELERS EYEING VICK AS POSSIBLE REPLACEMENT AFTER ROETHLISBERGER RAPE CHARGES

STEVE MCNAIR SACKED BY BULLETS

ANGRY MANCHESTER UNITED FAN ONLY KILLS FOUR

BILLS’ FULLBACK ARRESTED ON CHARGE OF EXPOSING SEXUAL ORGANS

AIR LET OUT OF COWBOY’S SEASON AS ROOF CAVES IN ON ROOKIES

A-ROD BOOK REVEALS STEROIDS MAKE BASEBALL EASIER

NASCAR TO ASK DRIVERS TO SLOW DOWN

CLEVELAND BROWNS TO FIELD A TEAM THIS YEAR AFTER ALL

DONTE STALLWORTH MANSLAUGHTER CHARGES GIVE BROWNS NEW HOPE

NHL TO ENFORCE NO SHIRT RULE FOR FEMALE FANS

MISSING NFL PLAYERS NOT REALLY MISSED BY ANYONE

DRUG USERS FLOCK TO OLYMPIC COMPETITION TO ESCAPE DRUG CONVICTION

A-ROD TESTS POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS; YANKEES STILL WITHOUT WORLD SERIES WIN

DETROIT LIONS SEE A CLEAR PATH TO PERFECT SEASON

PLAXICO BURRESS SHOOTS HIS CAREER IN THE LEG

JASON VARITEK FOUND TALKING TO SELF AT PLATE; TO UNDERGO PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION

MAGIC JOHNSON OUTRAGED OVER FAKE AIDS

TOM BRADY INJURY CAUSES NFL TO RECONSIDER SEASON

DAUNTE CULPEPPER RETIREMENT PROMPTS NFL TO WIPE 1999 OFF THE RECORD BOOKS

PEYTON MANNING ADVOCATING MAKING OLYMPICS EASIER FOR AMERICANS

IOC INVESTIGATION INTO UNDERAGE GYMNASTS SPARKS PEDOPHILE OUTRAGE

CHINESE OFFICIALS TO COUNTER SPANISH RACISM WITH SOMBREROS, BURRITOS

X GAMES TO TEST TANDEM BMX EVENTS

SWIMMER COVERS UP FOR RACE, LOSES

VIKINGS MUM ON CHARGES OF INAPPROPRIATE CONTACT WITH FAVRE

DWARF CLAIMS NBA HEIGHT RESTRICTION PREJUDICIAL

CURLERS BEGIN USING BIGGER BRUSHES IN AN ATTEMPT TO SPEED UP GAME