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NEWS > BUSINESS > ATTEMPT TO BREED OIL GOING DISASTROUSLY WRONG IN GULF OF MEXICO
ATTEMPT TO BREED OIL GOING DISASTROUSLY WRONG IN GULF OF MEXICO
April 30 2010
Venice, LA – Devil’s Tar. Black Gold. Oil. Whatever name it goes by that thick and viscous fluid that flows through the veins of our planet has been one of the most sought after commodities for decades. First discovered in the 16th century, it wasn’t
until after the industrial revolution that the real value of oil started to become apparent. By the turn of the 20th century with its machines that forever altered the future of humanity, oil back not only valuable but essential, as important to the growing world as water, just as it remains today.
Natural resources have long made empires. The British parlayed spice into one of the greatest empire in history. The Mongols used silk to finance the most expansive domain ever established. So too has oil made empires and oligarchs from the cow ranches of Texas to the deserts of Arabia, oil has driven the world, pushing advances and humanity to all new heights that could never have been achieved without that thick black liquid. However like any sought after commodity oil hasn’t been without its problems, sparking wars and being more than a little messy, the latter of which many in Louisiana are starting to discover first hand. In that state a massive flaming oil slick is moving towards the coast, threatening both human and animal life after a misguided attempt to replicate the liquid by pouring it into the ocean.
“It is of grave concern. I am frightened. This is a very, very big thing. And the efforts that are going to be required to do anything about it, especially if it continues on, are just mind-boggling,” David Kennedy of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, told The Associated Press. “This slick is much bigger and is moving much closer to the coast than we had originally believed. This is looking to be a disaster on scale unlike anything we have seen before, far worse than the Exxon Valdez.”
In 1989 the Exxon Valdez ran aground in Alaska, spilling 11 million gallons into the surrounding water. That spill was accidental unlike, it is believed, this current event.
“We know that the oil rig exploded and sank to the bottom, uncoupling the tether and
causing the well to simply spew into the surrounding water. What we don’t know yet
is why that happened. Oil can be volatile but it is controllable. Oil rigs generally don’t just explode for no reason, frankly that’s true of most things. Even dynamite doesn’t explode without prompting,” said Scrape TV Energy analyst Mark Kettle. “British Petroleum, the company that owned this particular rig, has long been experimenting with extending the life of oil and even finding ways of replicating it. Perhaps they believed they found a way in exposing it to salt water but something went wrong and it has now grown beyond their ability to contain the spread, meaning that possibly this could spread throughout the water supplies all over the world, likely killing us all.”
Human beings and the animals we depend on yet have not yet developed the ability to consume and process crude oil through our digestive system.
“Of course they could have done this in an effort to transform all the world’s water supply into oil, which frankly was a slightly misguided move. It will mean a lot of revenue for BP but will also drive down the price for oil and make it more accessible to competitors, meaning that efforts will erode profits and kill every living thing all at the same time,” continued Kettle. “Of course it will mean lower gas prices which will benefit all of us in the short term, at least until the water runs out. Then...well I guess we will have to wait and see.”
Part of the slick was also set on fire, apparently by a bunch of ‘punk kids’.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
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