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NEWS > BUSINESS > NEW EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THAT ELVIS WROTE PART OF THE BIBLE
NEW EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THAT ELVIS WROTE PART OF THE BIBLE
May 13 2010
Memphis, TN – The Bible has been and continues to be perhaps the most influential book ever created. One could argue that it is the single most important document ever created and that no matter how far we advance that no work could ever produce
will be able to alter society as fundamentally as that work. It isn’t just the effect on religion, which was enormous, but rather the social, political, and economic influence that that particular religion has had on the world, and that influence is based on that single text.
There have been many defining moments and events in our history, events that have so profoundly altered the course of history that we cannot imagine our world without them. Would the internet exist without the assassination of Franz Ferdinand? We can never know but we do know that that event did eventually lead to the invention of the web. Because the Bible has had such a wide sphere of influence it’s impossible to ever strip its effects from the world we have, but a new passage with a shocking author has called into question everything we thought we knew about that book. Specifically a new passage apparently written by Elvis Presley has cast doubt on whether the Bible is real and how long we have actually been here.
“There’s a number of these Bibles around and I happened to get this one in Las Vegas, Graceland was selling memorabilia in an auction. It was a considerable sum of money. I had seen some and chased some but never acquired one. He had six and that’s a lot for the average family. There’s maybe three left at Graceland and two others that I’ve seen for sale,” Baptist minister David Smith told the Telegraph. “This is text that very few people have seen and it changes many of the things we have come to believe not only about the Bible and our religion but also about Elvis who may have been more than just the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll.”
No one has claimed, yet, that Elvis was God or some other heavenly creature but the possibility has not been ruled out.
“There are a number of things that could be going on here. At first glance people would think that Elvis somehow existed hundreds of years ago and wrote passages either in a past life or that he has simply lived for an incredibly long time and somehow managed to fool all of us, just as he has done since his apparent death in 1977,” said Scrape TV Religion analyst Bertram Gas. “The other possibility is that the Earth isn’t as old as we think it is. If Elvis or some other power created our history, or stole it from another culture, created us and then implanted us with those memories we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. We have all of these memories of the past and all of this history written down but if we were programmed to have those things we would naturally assume they are real.”
If the latter has occurred it’s not clear whether that would make Elvis God, and alien, or just another unwitting pawn like the rest of us.
“Perhaps Elvis never did exist. If our memories were created say a week ago then it’s likely he never existed. Whatever power did this would have created this thing called Elvis and planted him all over popular culture making us believe he existed even if he never did. Perhaps that’s why there are so many sightings of him,” continued Gas. “Whatever the truth it’s likely we will never know the real truth. Whatever power did this to us is obviously much more sophisticated and could simply reverse things so that we aren’t contemplating these things, unless that’s what it wants. Perhaps Elvis was the answer all along.”
Elvis’ supposed living family members had no comment.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
NEWS > BUSINESS > NEW EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THAT ELVIS WROTE PART OF THE BIBLE
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