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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > NEW EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THAT MICHELLE OBAMA CONTROLS THE FASHION INDUSTRY
NEW EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THAT MICHELLE OBAMA CONTROLS THE FASHION INDUSTRY
October 21 2010
Washington. D.C. – The fashion industry has never been the most respected of fields. The medium itself has always walked a line between craft an art, never really falling to one side or the other, and the industry behind it as more than a little flaky, 
populated by flakes and schemers. Nonetheless, the industry has made a lot of money for a lot of people and despite any reservations people might have about it, has integrated itself fully into popular culture, a place it is likely to inhabit for a number of years to come.
Fashion too has had a real impact on modern culture. Though at first blush it appears to be dedicated to the wealthy elite, the techniques and designs that have made up the bulk of runway shows have eventually trickled down to the common folk. Innovations in design and material have frequently trickled down to regular consumer goods and the infrastructure around clothing has primarily been created by the high end fashion. Much like summer blockbuster movies keep people coming into the theatres, high profile fashion has driven the structure of fashion regardless of who wears it. Still, the industry behind the craft has remained largely nebulous, and as it turns out that is by design in an effort to hide the real powers behind the field, who is now believed to be First Lady Michelle Obama.
“First ladies have always had an impact on the industry in significant ways. What they wear changes what ordinary people wear and that has an impact on sales and stock prices, sometimes a profound one. What we didn’t know until now however is that there is a reason for this, and a very specific reason behind every fashion choice,” said Drake Colbert, author of Fashionomics: The Power behind the Catwalk. “Control of the industry has been passed down through secret societies and it is now in the hands of the First Lady. Her choices are always deliberate, she is manipulating the way to stocks move and a degree of indoctrination of the regular people. By following, people will never feel the need to lead.”
It’s not clear who the last leader of the industry was. The society apparently destroys all documents immediately upon death, which is often facilitated by the incoming power.
“This is the first time that we have been able to definitively lock down an individual who was in charge. There have been others of course but this is the first time we have been able to grasp onto a living leader. Any person we explore from the past may have evidence, but we can never truly confirm their role as leader,” continued Colbert. “The only other one that we have any clear evidence on was Jackie Kennedy who never did lead. There was already someone in charge and she lost pretty much all her cache when her husband was killed. We believe that event was likely orchestrated by Lady Byrd Johnson.”
There is no definitive connection between the assassination of JFK and former First Lady Johnson.
“A lot of this sounds like the plot of ‘Zoolander’ but that was really closer to the truth than a lot of people realize. Of course they had a hand in creating it. By creating a comedy suggesting such a thing they made the whole concept totally ridiculous and removed any possibility of anyone taking it seriously,” continued Colbert. “However it is real and far more dangerous than anyone could imagine. Obama is not directly involved in any of the more salacious things that go one, but she is aware of them. This is all an attempt to manipulate the masses, and it has worked magically for many years now.”
We attempted to contact Colbert for a few follow up questions but his phone number was mysteriously out of service.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
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