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NEWS > BUSINESS > SWISS CHEESE AIRPLANES HIT BUMP IN ARIZONA
SWISS CHEESE AIRPLANES HIT BUMP IN ARIZONA
April 4 2011
Bethesda, MD - There is, arguably, no clearer example of the cleverness of human beings than manned flight. True we have done some remarkable things in the past – building the pyramids and poetry to name just two – but it is flight, something 
physically impossible for our species, which has changed our world in ways we could never have imagined, that stands as the thing most outside our nature which we have been able to overcome. Its practical uses aside, the mere fact that we are able to ignore the bodies we have been given and still soar through the skies is a tribute to what we can accomplish.
Flight though is something so common place in today’s world that for most people it hardly registers a note in the history books, something barely more impressive than driving a car or riding a bike. So much so that our primary attitude in respect to flying revolves around complaints about waits in lines. Still, flight is massive accomplishment for our species and something we really cannot do without anymore. As it has done over a hundred or so years, flight is in a constant state of evolution, becoming safer, more efficient, and cheaper as time has gone on, something that may have hit a serious hitch after a hole ridden plane likely put an end to a new ‘Swiss Cheese’ design that had hoped to revolutionize the industry.
“We heard about what happened in Arizona the other day, this plane with the massive holes in it, and it immediately scared all of us out of our minds. I mean we were concerned about the health and safety of the people on board, but we also knew that it meant potentially bad things for our design,” said an insider for Lockheed Martin. “These types of incidents are not good for anyone, least of all the industry. This is going to be a major blow to new design techniques and that isn’t good for us or for anyone.”
An ageing Boeing 737 was grounded in Arizona on Friday after a major hole tore open the fuselage.
“This type of incident was an accident, a result of an old aircraft and shoddy 
maintenance and it realistically has nothing to do with what we are doing, but the public perception will be the same. This is going to be a major blow to all open-air aircraft now in development and may kill them altogether,” continued the insider. “Incidents like this cause a harsh reaction in the public and the man then has to act to ensure that they are placated, but unfortunately that also means that we in the industry are severely limited in terms of what we are able to do with design. I think, frankly, that this will result in the end of all aircraft with open air space.”
The so-called ‘Swiss Cheese’ plane in development had holes littered throughout the body of the plane in order to reduce drag, reduce manufacturing costs, and provide fresh air to passengers.
“Frankly I think that design is probably DOA now. I think after an incident like this it is going to be very challenging to convince the public that it’s a good idea to travel in plane with holes in the sides, no matter whether or not they are deliberate. Things like this certainly do scare off innovation,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “If it comes out clean, without any incident, it has a chance no matter how wacky it may seem but when something bad happens, well that’s just about the end of things before they even begin. A similar thing happened the to the low level flight tours around New York City that just never took off after 2001.”
Reportedly, Lockheed Martin will now turn development of a bomb-proof lead plane.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
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