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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > VIRGIN BIRTH HAS BELIEVERS FLOCKING TO LIZARD MESSIAH
VIRGIN BIRTH HAS BELIEVERS FLOCKING TO LIZARD MESSIAH
November 15 2010
Vung Tau, Vietnam – There are many parts of the Bible and the story of the early life of our planet that are highly disputed. One of the most heavily argued components of that mythos is the person at the centre of the religion, Jesus Christ. Not only is his 
birth, life, and death a major point of argument from science, it is also a major point of debate with other religions, specifically Judaism and Islam which follow many of the same tenets.
The argument against Christ starts, fittingly, right at the beginning. A common theme throughout many religious figures of His time, the story of Christ’s virgin birth is a major point of debate and even ridicule from non believers who argue that it, above all else, shows the irrationality of religion itself. No case of virgin birth amongst human beings had ever been verifiably documented before and none since, leaving the logical conclusion that it is simply not possible. Of course that is only in the human kingdom, and now the revelation of a new lizard, Leiolepis ngovantrii, that has apparently given birth without a male has many wondering if not only whether or not those stories could in fact be true, but also whether or not the Messiah has in fact been reborn in lizard form.
“This is a totally unique animal in the world. We have never been able to observe this type of event occurring in nature previously and we are of the opinion that it might be unique to this particular animal. We have no evidence that this birth is religious in any way but we never expected this in the first place so it is possible,” said one researcher “This animal has reproduced through parthenogenesis which does not require the male contributing genetic material. We have always believed this impossible because it dilutes the gene pool and really shouldn’t be allowed in nature, yet it has happened here.”
It’s not quite clear how researchers discovered that the lizard, which is a type of Butterfly lizard, was a virgin.
“This is a great moment, the moment we have been waiting for a very long time. Our Lord has arrived and we are now in bathing in the light of His return. The King of Kings has returned and he will bring with us the light and glory of Heaven,” said Dwight, a true believer. “There may be those who doubt this event, who doubt that our Lord and Saviour could return in such a form but ours is not to question the will of God, ours is simply to trust in his plan, to follow the path which he has set down and have faith that he is leading us on the right path. His plan is not for us to question, his plan is just for us to follow, to follow in the light and down the path that he has set for us.”
This far the infant lizard has performed no miracles.
“This is certainly an unexpected development. I mean Christianity has always talked about the return of Christ and most people assumed that He would return in more or less the form that He took when he first arrived but that is apparently not the case,” said Scrape TV Religion analyst Bertram Gas. “Of course we are still going to need to confirm all of this. In the larger we will need to be sceptical until we see some confirmation that this is in fact the Lord Jesus Christ, in lizard form of course.”
There was apparently no truth to the rumour that that Saviour had been squashed shortly after birth.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
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