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NEWS > BUSINESS >DOUR POPE TRIES TO RUIN CHRISTMAS FOR MILLIONS OF CHILDREN
DOUR POPE TRIES TO RUIN CHRISTMAS FOR MILLIONS OF CHILDREN
December 25 2011
Vatican City – Whatever ties it has to religion, there is little doubt that Christmas has become very much a secular holiday over the last century or so. More about devotion to retail than devotion to God, Christmas is only vaguely religious at all, which is perhaps fitting considering the extremely vague religious ties to the holiday in the first place.
For most people, that’s just fine. Christmas is about family and fun, presents and pleasant memories rather than the birth of the saviour. In many ways that actually espouses all the main principles of religion –family, love, giving – in a much deeper way than actually going out to church and worshipping long-dead religious figures.
For some though, it is not good enough, including the Pope who has lashed out at modern Christmas celebrations, particularly the celebration of commercialism and the superficial nature of the modern celebration. Few appear to have listened to the Pope pleas, but for many critics it is just one more example of how out of step the Church is with the real world, with the Pope now making an honest effort to ruin Christmas morning for millions of children. Luckily for them, however, he has made no efforts to have them molested, a small relief for the holidays.
“Today Christmas has become a commercial celebration, whose bright lights hide the mystery of God's humility, which in turn calls us to humility and simplicity,” the Pope said before thousands at St Peters Basilica. “Let us ask the Lord to help us see through the superficial glitter of this season, and to discover behind it the child in the stable in Bethlehem, so as to find true joy and true light.”
Most kids were not all that concerned about such dull and dour religious overtures, focussed more on Transformers and Leapfrog tablets, and of course not being molested.
The Pope believed that his gift to the world was the word of God, which most children did not ask for.
“There is little debate that the Pope and the Church have made an effort to modernize somewhat. They have started to soften on things like birth control and they have actually made an effort to stop covering up sex abuse by priests which is a major step forward, but it’s clear that they still have a ways to go to become truly modern,” said Scrape TV Religion analyst Bertram Gas. “Simply promising not to molest children is really not enough. Kids want presents, they want turkey and cookies. This holiday is about family which, in many ways, is an expression of real Christian values. It may not have the mechanics of faith, but the heart behind it for sure.”
The Pope did send word to all churches across the world to avoid molesting anyone on Christmas day, though it’s not clear if that will be observed.
“Going to church in itchy clothes, sitting for hours listening to priest drone on and on about sacrifice and crucifixion, that’s really not what kids want to do. They want o wake up early, open their presents, eat lots of junk, and fall asleep early to the sounds of fighting relatives. That’s Christmas, not boring sermons and molestation,” continued Gas. “The sooner the Church realizes that the better off they will be. That is the reality of the modern world, kids want fun not rough hands down their pants and admonitions.”
The Pope will also likely try and ruin Easter for millions of children with more prayers and fumbling fingers.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
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