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NEWS > BUSINESS > STRUGGLING DUTCH BROADCASTER TURNS TO CANNIBALISM TO FEED WORKERS
STRUGGLING DUTCH BROADCASTER TURNS TO CANNIBALISM TO FEED WORKERS
December 22 2011
Amsterdam, Netherlands – Times are tough, no two ways about that. Aside from the continued economic chaos throughout the world, many industries are also undergoing massive changes, being forced to adapt to a new world that doesn’t need them. That is very much the case for the media industry which is continuing to struggle in the world of the internet, forcing them into more and more desperate measures in a bid to stay alive.
There is perhaps no better example of that than in the Netherlands where broadcaster BNN has started to push the limits of acceptable behaviour, a feat in that country, by encouraging employees to engage in casual cannibalism to compensate for decreased salaries and benefits, something which the workers have taken to with surprising levels of enthusiasm, even going so far as to do it on camera.
“These two presenters had pieces of flesh surgically removed from their bodies which they then exchanged with one another. The pieces of meat were then cooked to a safe temperature and they were consumed. This has become fairly standard here and we wanted to present to audiences a clear and accurate picture of the procedure,” 
said a spokesperson for BNN. “We have been in negotiations with labour unions and individuals but the simple fact of the matter is that there is very little spare cash available. While we would like to increase wages and benefits, we are finding that next to impossible in the current environment and that has forced us to come up with unique ways to keep our people fed.”
Casual cannibalism has become fairly standard for lunch at the broadcaster and has actually become so successful that most workers only bring themselves for lunch.
Strict protocols and sanitary regimes are observed for the whole process.
“We are all in tough right now. I mean some people are fine but things could tip over at any minute and that has a lot of people on edge. I think everyone had hoped that it wouldn’t come to cannibalism, but I guess those hopes have been dashed now,” said Scrape TV Economic analyst Michael Santino. “I don’t imagine that everyone has to start eating human flesh, but a penny saved is a penny earned I suppose. If you can save cash on lunches now you don’t need to pay for them in the future and since the environment here is inclined in that direction, well I mean why not.”
Technically, eating human flesh is not illegal in The Netherlands. The broadcast, it is believed, may spark a trend across the country, possibly leading to unstoppable levels of flesh consumption.
“This is a concern. This type of thing should not be promoted because it could become a trendy thing to do, and perhaps even a way for companies to justify lack of raises and other benefits, particularly if they have a lot of obese workers,” said a government spokesperson. “We will be looking into this to ensure that these actions do not interfere with labour rights. We cannot allow people to simply be consumed without some type of oversight, otherwise we will have a real serious problem.”
Cannibalism, while not common, does happen on occasion throughout the
Netherlands, especially when people are really, really high.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
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