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NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > U2 RETREATS TO ISLAND GETAWAY AFTER TAX PROTESTS DISRUPT CONCERT
U2 RETREATS TO ISLAND GETAWAY AFTER TAX PROTESTS DISRUPT CONCERT
June 27 2011
Glastonbury, U.K. – There is no obligation, legally or morally, for famous and wealthy people to do anything for anyone else. Traditionally, altruism from the extraordinarily wealthy was an aberration, even a violation of social mores. After all, if one person 
decided to give away money to the poor everyone would start to expect that everyone should do the same. Like seagulls, the less you feed them the less of an obligation other people have to do the same thing.
Until the last few decades that was pretty much the norm. True, there were people who gave money to the poor or who set up institutions to help the downtrodden or the ill and injured, but for the most part rich people stayed rich by not giving away money. Recently though, with people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, that attitude has changed and money has started to spread amongst all classes of people like a kind of reverse Robin Hood. There has probably been no famous person more involved in that kind of altruism and active participation with regular people than Bono, the lead singer of U2 who has dedicated almost as much of his energy to helping people as he has dedicated to making himself wealthy. However not everyone appreciates the efforts of the multiple Nobel Peace Prize nominee including a group at the Glastonbury Music Festival whose raucous protests on Saturday forced Bono and his band mates to flee to one of their many Mediterranean islands.
“We, along with the band, were very disturbed at the violence which occurred at the
festival. We are very pleased with the efforts of all security personnel at the event. We regret that these events cast such a dark shadow on the festival,” said a spokesperson for the band. Bono, Edge. Larry, and Adam were shaken up by the violence but all are well. They left the area following the performance and are now resting and relaxing on the beach at one of their islands. They assured me that the break will allow them to decompress from these events.”
Much of the protest was focussed on the band’s decision to move their corporate base from financially strapped and bailed out Ireland to The Netherlands where they pay almost no corporate taxes.
“The core argument is of course that this band, and Bono in particular, which advocates equality amongst nations and debt relief of poorer countries has gone out of its way to avoid paying taxes. Not only that, but they have moved from a country which is dire financial straits already, a country which really needs those dollars,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “Unfortunately people just don’t understand the way business works. U2 is a corporation, not a band, and they have bills to pay which is much easier to do when you have more money, which is exactly what the move to The Netherlands was all about.”
The band made the move in 2006 but only recently has that come to public attention.
“When you spend your entire life jetting around the world trying to solve everyone’s problems you need to have a base, you need to have staff and you need a comfortable place to come back to. For example, if they paid these taxes there is no way they could afford a private island, which in turn would give Bono no way to relieve stress, and thus make it difficult for him to be an advocate. It’s all tied together,” continued Green. “These protestors just aren’t seeing the big picture. Bono needs all these islands and all these private jets to do his business of saving the world. Without them, he would just be a normal advocate. The only way to pay for those things is to stop paying taxes and so it makes perfect sense. You can’t be a hero if you’re poor after all.”
Bono is also reportedly comforting himself with a fresh supply of sunglasses, imported from Fiji and delivered via private plane by a bevy of Playboy playmates.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent
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