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NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > KATY PERRY’S DAD UNABLE TO SPEAK ABOUT DIVORCE IN A NORMAL TONGUE
KATY PERRY’S DAD UNABLE TO SPEAK ABOUT DIVORCE IN A NORMAL TONGUE
January 3 2011
Los Angeles, CA – Easily the biggest celebrity story of the New Year thus far has been the divorce of Russell Brand and Katy Perry. The mismatched star duo filed for divorce just one day before the calendars turned, in the slowest news period of the year, ensuring that pretty much all the talk would be on the divorce and putting them into the spotlight.
Cynicism aside, however, there are real people involved in the split. Both Brand and Perry appeared on the surface to be very much in love for a while and now, for whatever reason, an irreconcilable rift has formed between the pair, leaving them with few options, either divorce or murder-suicide. Luckily, the pair chose the former.
For most that would be a relief, but for Perry and her family the choice was a difficult one, ultimately deciding that divorce was the lesser sin and that God may forgive that, given the alternative. Nonetheless, the split has undoubtedly caused a good deal of tension with Perry’s ultra-religious family, however none of them have been willing to comment publicly, except for her father who was only able to comment in tongues, something only his wife is able to interpret.
“Sfrgfgfd frgfhtgf dcvhlkf d wdfekt fddfrtk gkkh—cffffd drtoo dsdmr skdr—ferjkha jfetrj ghlsp nm,kohor fdfgfmfdfoue. Ghfotope fogpr gjgkrtyk/bnb tkskf6fer fjefkt?” Perry’s father Keith Hudson said to reporters before telling them in English that he can’t talk. It’s not clear if Perry’s mother will interpret those words for the media, or just leave the world guessing.
It’s believed that the family is very upset with Perry, far more upset than all those times she used her breasts to make millions of dollars.
Perry has very nice breasts and other womanly parts, which will likely make her more money now that teenage boys can fantasize about marrying her again.
“Everyone is very upset but whatever the religious beliefs and attitudes, they love Katy. That is the primary edict of the Lord, that you love above all else and despite everything she has done, they still love her and always will. It’s hard for them to say that sometimes, especially Keith, but she knows the love is always there,” said a family insider. “Eventually they know all this media attention will go away and they are looking forward to that, but right now they are just taking care of themselves and their family, and of course begging the Lord for understanding and forgiveness.”
It’s not clear of the Lord will damn the whole family to Hell, just Perry, or reserve all His aggression for Brand who actually filed the divorce papers.
“It’s really hard to put into words how everyone is feeling right now. They are just trying to get through with as few words as possible. They do believe that their years of devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ will see them through these difficult times. That hasn’t been spoken to them explicitly, but they have faith,” continued the insider. “One day all these harsh words and talk will vanish and they will be left with only the glory of God and Christ, but until then they will endure the barbs of the media and non-believers, as well as all the people who want to get up in Katy. Eventually they know all this will pass and they will stay strong, you have my word on that.”
Reached for comment, the Hudson family preacher was mostly unintelligible though that is believed to be a result of him using a Blackberry for all his media calls.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent
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