NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > RUSH LIMBAUGH APOLOGIZES TO LOOSE WOMEN ACROSS AMERICA
RUSH LIMBAUGH APOLOGIZES TO LOOSE WOMEN ACROSS AMERICA
March 4 2012
New York, NY – As much of a stir as people like Glenn Beck or Rick Santorum can causes for their occasionally lunatic world view, they all owe a major debt to one man, Rush Limbaugh, the man who essentially created populist radical right-wing speech for the modern age.
With a verbose personality and a very loyal following, Limbaugh has made millions of dollars and millions of fans in his twenty years on the national stage. For the most part Limbaugh’s success has been based on, not perverted by, his ability to create controversy, usually by saying outlandish and occasionally stupid things, something he did a few days ago.
Limbaugh, no stranger to the spotlight, started to garner a great deal of very negative attention over the last few days after calling university student Sandra Fluke ‘a slut’ after she testified regarding employers paying for contraception. Those comments seemed to even disgust Republicans, creating a storm around Limbaugh the likes of which he had never seen before. Now, after standing strong and backing up what he said, Limbaugh has stepped back and apologized, not only to Fluke but also to all the loose and moral absent women across the country.
“For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke,” Limbaugh said in a statement on his website. “My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.”
Fluke has not yet commented on the apology, likely because she is too busy having sex with strangers at the moment.
Limbaugh had been facing protests and was even losing sponsors as a result of his statement which is likely what prompted the apology.
“It’s really amazing that a schoolyard insult like that, accurate or not, could have had such an impact on things, that it could have been such a big deal. I mean it’s really kind of a docile comment in the big picture and not wholly inaccurate but it caught on and I guess Limbaugh realized that he had to do something,” said Scrape TV Media analyst Sarah Piper. “He is a celebrity first and foremost with a contract and fans and anything that inhibits his work is obviously not going to be looked upon fondly by his employers, which is really what this apology is about, but I’m sure sluts will take it, they take just about everything after all.”
Fluke also gained a lot of press in the wake of the controversy which no doubt got her a lot more attention than even she used to having.
“This apology will likely turn down the volume on the controversy but really doesn’t change the underlying issues which is loose women really making Rush Limbaugh angry. Limbaugh will continue to be angry and sluts will continue to be sluts, nothing is solved, it’s just an agreement to disagree really,” continued Piper. “Limbaugh will go on being Limbaugh and these loose ladies will continue to have sex with as many people as they can get hold of. That’s what they do, both these sides, and the only thing this whole thing has taught them is to keep their mouths shut about it, difficult for both sides I think, keeping their mouths shut.”
Limbaugh has reportedly kept his mouth busy with sandwiches while fluke has kept hers busy with other things.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent