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NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > NEW BODY MORPHING SOFTWARE WILL ALLOW TOM CRUISE TO TAKE OVER FOR ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
NEW BODY MORPHING SOFTWARE WILL ALLOW TOM CRUISE TO TAKE OVER FOR ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
October 9 2010
Los Angeles, CA – There was a time when Tom Cruise was the unabashedly and undeniably biggest movie star on the planet. For a time almost everything he touched turned to gold and even those few things that didn’t turned a very bright silver. While 
it’s true that he often played Tom Cruise in all of those movies, a few roles such as ‘Born on the Fourth of July’ and ‘Interview with the Vampire’ gave him a chance to exercise his acting chops, and still make a bunch of people a bunch of money.
Somewhere along the line however, Tom Cruise lost it. Some point to his infamous talk with Matt Lauer, or his couch jump on Oprah, or his rabid proselytizing on behalf of Scientology as the cause of his demise but, like many collapses, it was likely a result of something much more mundane. Eventually moviegoers were going to grow out of Tom Cruise and younger viewers would inevitably take their place and want their own star, not their parents’ star. Cruise’s time in the limelight was always limited just like everyone else’s, however he has not given up. With another Mission Impossible movie now shooting, word comes that Cruise in talks 
to replace Zach Galifianakis in the upcoming ‘Hangover 2’ and will utilize a revolutionary new body morphing technique to emulate the latter’s healthy waistline.
“Zach is about as big as you can get right now and that has shown in regards to the filming of the Hangover. He’s ordering people around, getting pedicures on the set, and just generally acting like a spoiled movie star and it’s really ticking off the other actors and talent on the set,” said an insider. “He’s also refusing to come out of his trailer for days at a time. No one knows what he’s doing in there but we do know it isn’t women. Frankly, most people think it’s all those board games he had the production buy before shooting began.”
‘The Hangover 2’ is due to be released sometime in 2011.
“Basically, everyone is sick of it and as much as they want him in the movie they just aren’t getting anything done. That’s where the idea for Tom Cruise came in. We know he’s busy shooting that spy movie and stuff but
they have decided that he’s really the man for the job. It was him in that fat suit in the jungle movie, whatever it was called, that really convinced them and he’s all in,” continued the insider. “At first he wasn’t sure because he didn’t have time to gain weight for the role after the spy thing but when they showed him this new body morphing technique which can make anyone fat or skinny he signed on. It’s going to be strange seeing a new actor in the role but it’s a whole lot better than not having a movie at all.”
Galifianakis is reportedly still in his trailer and did not return our calls.
“I’ve only seen some demo video of this new technique but it does seem pretty impressive. It can seamlessly change anyone into any size, at least on film, and I’m sure it will go to good use in this particular case because Galifianakis is such a tubby,” said Scrape TV Entertainment analyst Tracey Temple. “I am also completely confident that Tom Cruise will be able to pull off the awkward weirdness that made that character so memorable in the first film. I mean that’s pretty much just Cruise being Cruise so it should be simple. It’ll be interesting to see the results and even more interesting to see what this does for Cruise’s career.”
Justin Bartha, who played the groom in the original film, has been replaced with a stool.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent
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