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NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > ISAAC HAYES DEATH INSPIRES TRUCE CALL BETWEEN SOUTH PARK AND SCIENTOLOGY

ISAAC HAYES DEATH INSPIRES TRUCE CALL BETWEEN SOUTH PARK AND SCIENTOLOGY

August 10 2008

Memphis, TN - The startling death of soul legend Isaac Hayes is currently reverberating around the world. Perhaps best known in recent years for his work as ‘Chef’ on ‘South Park’, and for his rabid devotion to Scientology, the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Famer has inspired soulful love call between the two warring parties.

“We are very sad to hear of the passing of Isaac,” said South Park co-creator Trey Parker. “Even though we did have a falling out in recent years, there is still a great deal of love in our heart for him and always will be. We hope that all South Park fans join us in mourning the loss of Chef and his Chocolate Salty Balls. We are also asking the Church of Scientology to put aside its differences with us and join us in mourning Isaac.”

Officially Church representatives had no statement at this time, though any kind of truce between the two parties seems unlikely.

Rumours that Tom Cruise as well as other high profile Scientologists being presentat the Hayes home and the hospital where he passed are officially unconfirmed, though reports from observers indicate otherwise.

“We can confirm that Isaac Hayes did in fact pass away at approximately 2:00 A.M.,” said a official with the hospital. “I am unaware of any celebrities being present, nor would I comment if I were. We respect our patient’s privacy.”

Sources have also told Scrape News that a personal plane owned by prominent Scientologist John Travolta had been fuelled and was waiting on a runaway just outside of Los Angeles.

“They told them to be ready for a large number of people. It looks like they are gathering up the crew and are going to Memphis to bring Hayes up to Xanadu, or whatever they do. Those guys circle like buzzards when one of them kicks it.” 

Parker and South Park partner Matt Stone won’t be among the travelers. “We know they really don’t like us, and we aren’t looking to get into the Church or anything, but for now we would like to put aside our issues,” continued Parker. “Guess I could give Travolta a call but I don’t know how that guy flies. Do they have some kind of Zen meditation thing that gives them special flying powers? We’ll wait and see what the funeral arrangements are. We actually knew him, so we actually care about him. The Scientologists, well, that’s just kinda what they do.”

Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent

NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > ISAAC HAYES DEATH INSPIRES TRUCE CALL BETWEEN SOUTH PARK AND SCIENTOLOGY

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