U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > BRITAIN JUST ABOUT OUT OF FISH
BRITAIN JUST ABOUT OUT OF FISH
July 13 2011
London, U.K. – The United Kingdom is known for many things; royalty, music, funny accents, and food. Of those things, one is not necessarily a source of pride. Food has been something of a difficult challenge to overcome for the majority of Brits, not so 
much the reality of their food situation, but the perception. It has been a long time since grease was a staple and in fact London is regularly considered amongst the top cities to eat in the world, but the perception persists that there is nothing good to eat on that side of the pond.
Some countries – France, Italy, Greece, China – are famous for their cuisine, known the world over for their culinary delights. Britain is not and may never be one of those countries but they are known for one thing, one thing that may be at an end. There is of course nothing more British than fish and chips. It is a national dish and a rite of passage in the country. Without fish and chips there might as well not even be a Britain, something that may soon become a reality as it becomes clear that the waters around the island nation have been depleted so much that the country simply has nothing left to eat.
“This has become a disastrous situation. We reached our limits much earlier this year than last and it has become increasingly clear that the situation is not going to improve in the near future. Over fishing has become an issue all across Europe and 
the environment is not one which would suggest that a resolution is coming anytime soon,” said a government spokesperson. “It is really a tragedy that an island nation such as ourselves must import one out of every two fish we consume. This is very detrimental to our economic well-being and to our status in the world. It’s proper horrorshow to be honest.”
People across the U.K. have reportedly been getting very snooty with the related price increases.
“There are few ready solutions at hand. There are limits to the number of fish in the ocean and as long as we continue to consume them we will eventually run out. The simplest solution is to simply reduce consumption. These are not an infinitely replaceable commodity. We simply cannot up production at the fish production facilities to provide us with a better supply,” continued the spokesperson. “That is unlikely to happen anytime soon and so people are going to have to deal with increased prices. The only viable option as our waters run dry is to purchase fish from other countries who continue to have healthy supplies. The reality of our dead oceans is not something which is going to suddenly resolve itself.”
Overfishing is seen as the most likely reason for the lack of fish. Aquatic vertebrates traditionally have a very low rate of suicide.
“As populations continue to grow, and perhaps more importantly as they start to demand proper nutrition, we are likely going to see more and more of these types of things happening. Population increases weren’t a problem as long as large segments of the global population starved, but as we continue to better the lives of people, food supplies are going to diminish,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “That is going to be a particular problem in places like the U.K. They tend to get all uppity when they can’t have what they want. They go on television and complain with big words and that just frustrates the rest of the world. Luckily their war machine isn’t what it used to be, the last thing we need is a fish war, but that doesn’t mean they don’t irritate a lot of people. I think that alone is going to drive up prices. If you have to listen to them you might as well make money out of it.”
British regulators have also started to warn of a potential crumpet crisis in the next few years.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > BRITAIN JUST ABOUT OUT OF FISH
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20Else/pages-10/Britain-just-about-out-of-fish-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html |
TWEET IT! http://goo.gl/T4DAo |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
