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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > HULKAMANIA COMES TO ENGLAND TO DEAL WITH RIOTERS
HULKAMANIA COMES TO ENGLAND TO DEAL WITH RIOTERS
August 13 2011
London, U.K. – It’s hard to distinguish the worst part about the rioting in England; the rioting itself or the inability of the government to do anything to stop it. This is, after all, a country which has centuries of sophistication and wealth, a highly educated populace, and little to complain about relative to many other nations. Yet, London burns.
Unlike the riots in Africa and the Middle East, the world isn’t watching the chaos in the U.K. with enthusiasm or excitement, but with horror. After all, if it can happen there it can happen anywhere and unlike the corrupt governments of many other nations, there are limits to what can be done to stop the mess. Now though, it appears that England has been sent an unexpected saviour.
Hulk Hogan, speaking with a British radio station, expressed his own shock with the rioting in England and vowed to do whatever he needs to do to bring the fighting to an end, urging all his little Hulkamaniacs to put the choke slam on the craziness.
“I just feel like maybe Hulk should run over there, start dropping legs, hitting people with big boots, and just stop the action. Rethink brotha, rethink this whole thing, 
change your thinking in a positive direction. Break the cycle, this craziness that’s going on,” Hogan said on BBC Radio 5. “Everybody wants the kids to get back on track, you know. It doesn’t really matter if Hulk Hogan is over there body slamming all the youth like did Andre the Giant, but at the end of the day we need to grab these kids, you know, just regroup. Look at yourself in the mirror. Is this what you want? Is this what you want your destiny to be?”
Hogan made similar comments during the Egyptian riots, though he did not make a trip to that country.
“I think it’s very unlikely that there is much that Hulk Hogan could do to quell these riots. I have no doubt that he could step off the plane and start cracking skulls but that would likely only inflame the rioters even more. Getting body slammed tends not to make people less aggressive,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “I mean someone need to do something but leg drops are probably not the answer. That technique worked on the Iron Sheik but times have changed.”
Hogan is currently in Florida, laying the smackdown on a killer tan.
“Maybe, possibly, if he brought some of his fellow wrestlers over they could do something but that seems unlikely. Most of them are either dead or just don’t get along and so teaming up, even to take out these suckers in England, well that just seems very unlikely,” continued Hander. “You never know though. If things continue to get bad you could very well see The Hulkster step off a plane with the Sheik, The Hitman, and maybe even the Ultimate Warrior. That alone could be enough of a formidable presence to give the rioters pause. That alone could scare them back into their homes Hopefully he at least tries. The country sure does need someone to help.”
Also reached for comment was Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts. He responded with garbled words which he expected us to understand.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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