U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > IRAN FORMULATES NEW PLAN TO ATTACK FOREIGN COUNTRIES WITH MONKEYS FROM SPACE
IRAN FORMULATES NEW PLAN TO ATTACK FOREIGN COUNTRIES WITH MONKEYS FROM SPACE
June 21 2011
Tehran, Iran – It is possible that, no matter what the hawks in Washington believe, that Iran will never pose a major threat to her neighbours. It is possible that the likely acquisition of nuclear weapons by Iran will not create a major war, never mind a 
nuclear apocalypse. It is entirely possible that the only thing Iranian nuclear power will create is a new political dynamic in the region. It is also possible that it is that eventuality which scares the West more than anything.
Until now, nuclear weapons have been in the hands of either responsible nations or countries which can be readily controlled. Even the most extreme case, North Korea, is a minor threat because it is so dependent on outsiders, Russia, China, and even the United States, for its survival that actually using nukes is a very slim possibility. In Iran, the situation is much different. It is a relatively affluent and self-sufficient country with long standing relationships to other powers. Its influence has spread widely across the Middle East and parts of Asia, and it is the most prominent Islamic nation in a time when that really matters. An influential Iran is not something most people would like, but with nukes that is what they will get. Now, even as they move towards acquisition of those weapons, Iran has embarked on another bold military plan, sending monkeys into space which they can use to attack virtually any nation from the Heavens.
“This is a major step in the process of putting a man into space. This effort to launch a monkey into space is a part of the process which will put Iran on terms with the rest of the world,” said an Iranian official. “I will assure you that our desire to put a
monkey into space is entirely peaceful. We believe it is our sovereign right t launch animals into space, just as western nations have been doing for decades. We are only exercising our rights.”
Iran plans to launch a man into space by 2020. They have already sent other animals such as rats, turtles, and worms into low earth orbit.
“We see this as a major escalation by the Iranian government and we strongly denounce these efforts. These are not the actions of peace seeking nations, nor are they the actions of responsible and trustworthy partners in the global community,” said one U.S. official. “We are watching these actions very closely and we will take any action we feel is necessary to prevent Iran from escalating conflicts with the west or with Israel. They claim to be doing these things for peaceful purposes but time and time again we have seen the true nature of their intent in their actions. We do not believe that this launch is as peaceful as the Iranian government would like us to believe.”
Chinese and Russian agencies have reportedly been helping prepare the monkey launch.
“Unto itself this action may not be that big a deal, however the concern is that could
escalate and become a major problem. If they are successful with this launch that could give them the confidence to launch even more monkeys into space which could easily be used as an advance force against any enemy,” said Scrape TV International Conflict analyst Mario Martinez. “From space, attacks have far more potential to be a problem. By manoeuvring your attack forces you could reign terror on any nation in the world. The limitations posed by rocket technology are moot and that could make this a very dangerous proposition. In the very near future Iran could be bringing these monkey forces down on Israel, the United States, or any other country they choose. That is a real possibility and the West has good cause for concern.”
Iran has also reportedly started to import tigers into the country which are being housed at Malek Ashtar University, a stronghold of the Revolutionary Guard.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > IRAN FORMULATES NEW PLAN TO ATTACK FOREIGN COUNTRIES WITH MONKEYS FROM SPACE
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20Else/pages-10/Iran-forumulates-new-plan-to-attack-foreign-countries-with-monkeys-from-space-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html |
TWEET IT! http://goo.gl/v1wkd |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
