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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > ISRAEL UNVEILS DOOMSDAY WEAPON AS TENSIONS IN REGION MOUNTY
ISRAEL UNVEILS DOOMSDAY WEAPON AS TENSIONS IN REGION MOUNT
September 13 2011
Jerusalem, Israel – Things in Israel will likely never be totally peaceful. Things have improved in recent years and that may continue, but it is possible, even likely, that the country will never know true peace. Of course, that can be said of many countries, just not as loudly as it is said about Israel.
Recently the tensions in that country have ramped up again with Turkey closing the Israeli embassy, Iran continuing to pursue nuclear technology, and a vote on Palestinian statehood coming soon it’s fair to say that the country is in one of their down times, perhaps not the worst of times, but certainly not the best.
In response to that, Israel has offered a rare glimpse into the workings of their military might, and revealed for the first time their very doomsday weapon which, like all doomsday weapons, when triggered will destroy much of the globe. All that is required is someone dare attack the nation.
“These are our secret weapons. These are our ultimate protection from the forces who seek to destroy the nation and people of Israel. This is the vengeance they risk when they challenge our nation, and they serve as a warning to all,” said a spokesperson for the Israeli government. “This submarine fleet is not like anything you have seen before. These men stand for something important, something meaningful and they are willing to both kill and be killed for the nation.”
In particular, the doomsday weapon is a fleet of nuclear powered submarines currently deployed all around the globe, waiting to strike against any and all enemies who would seek to attack Israel.
“These are the front line of defence for the nation and they will do what they need to do to protect us and destroy our enemies in an inferno of pain and suffering. These are not negotiating situations, these are living situations. If our enemies would test us they would see our wrath and there would be nothing left of them to complain,” continued the spokesperson. “This is a challenge to all those who would oppose us, to attack us. We will not tolerate such activities, we will take action against and all who would seek action against the nation of Israel. This is the way things will be done.”
Currently the Israeli fleet has three submarines, which they intend to double in the next few years to try and scare even more people. It’s believed the subs are equipped with traditional warheads.
“The first line of defence for any country is deterrence. By scaring the bad guys, by keeping them away in the first place, you are already winning the war. Well, 
symbolically anyway. I mean if there’s no actual war happening then you can’t really win it except synmbolically,” said Scrape TV International Conflict analyst Mario Martinez. “The truth is subs can be very scary, especially if you have a lot of them. For a long time in the Second World War they turned the tide for the Germans and almost won them the war. Then the allies figured out things like depth charges and that kind of ruined the advantage. The good thing for Israel is that countries like Iran don’t really have many history books so they will probably be at a loss and that means advantage Israel.”
In keeping with the notion of surprise, Israel has not disclosed where the subs are currently.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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