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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > NORWEGIAN FAILS TO STOP SPREAD OF THE THING IN MASS SHOOTING
NORWEGIAN FAILS TO STOP SPREAD OF THE THING IN MASS SHOOTING
July 23 2011
Oslo, Norway – The people of Norway are still reeling, standing in shock, in the wake of the biggest mass killing in that country since the end of World War II. The two-pronged attack, a bombing in the capital and a shooting on a nearby small island, has
left at least 92 people dead, scores injured, and a nation absolutely stunned with the carnage inflicted upon their quiet little country.
It will undoubtedly take many years for the people of the country to come to terms with what happened but already major steps towards that resolution are being made with the capture of the mastermind of the attacks. Anders Behring Breivik, 32, has been identified as the gunman who killed at least 85 people on the summer camp island, and the man who was likely responsible for the bombing which targeted the building housing the Prime Minister’s office. While the people of the country come to terms with the horror of the event, police and government official are desperately trying to uncover evidence and find some motivation for the attacks. Currently, speculation about the motives revolve around a fundamentalist Christian / Neo-Nazi mindset, but some insiders have speculated that Breivik may have believed he was protecting the world from a parasitic monster from outer space, much like the one depicted in the movie ‘The Thing’, which also killed a number of Norwegians.
“Any speculation as to why this happened is very early at this stage. It is fairly apparent that this was not an orchestrated attack by a sophisticated organization but rather the result of madman intent on causing destruction. Until we have evidence to the contrary, we are pursuing the investigation on that basis,” said a police insider. 
“We have uncovered many possible avenues for exploration but it has become clear that there was no clear motivation, but rather a number of things going on in this man’s head. One of those possibilities is protecting humanity from destruction by some mysterious alien creature.”
In the movie, an alien able to emulate human beings perfectly, is dug out of the ice by Norwegian researchers eventually causing the researchers to turn on one other to eliminate the threat. Eventually the creature escapes and infiltrates an American station headed by Kurt Russell.
“It is very, very unlikely that we have been infiltrated by some thousands year old creature from the stars but what is important is what Breivik believed. What is actually the case and what he believes to be the case are two different things of different import,” continued the insider. “We have seen no evidence that these people, mostly children, who were killed were anything but regular people. I mean that is exactly what the creature in that movie did well, emulated people, but it was of course just a movie. It is likely that any type of emulation would be imperfect, that people would see the difference. That doesn’t take away this a potential motivation, but of course it makes it an unlikely defence.”
A prequel to the 1982 movie, which depicts the events in the Norwegian camp, is due to be released later this year.
“There is often a kind of rational believe that what is happening is genuine at least in
the
mind of the individual. To an outsider the rationality would seem to limited or non-existent but in the mind of the person himself it makes perfect sense. This is what happened here, whether he believed some fundamentalist Christian viewpoint or invaders from Mars,” said Scrape TV Mass Murder analyst Drake Webber. “Of course, if that speculation is correct and if it turns out that he was correct that this thing has come to take over our planet, we have to hope that he got all of them and that authorities will dispose of the bodies properly otherwise we could live to regret this day, at least for a little while.”
Officials have not acknowledged the alien hypothesis but believe it an unlikely scenario.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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