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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > DEATH OF KIM JONG-IL CAUSES NATURE TO GO WILD, GODS TO GET ANGRY
DEATH OF KIM JONG-IL CAUSES NATURE TO GO WILD, GODS TO GET ANGRY
December 23 2011
Pyongyang, North Korea – Everyone knew that when Kim Jong-Il eventually dies it would make waves across the world. Ordinarily the death of a tin-pot dictator in some remote area of the globe would hardly make the front page, never mind headlines, but Kim Jong-Il is a different case. 
Aside from being the head of an unstable nuclear-powered nation, Kim was also arguably the most eccentric of eccentric world leaders. His love of basketball and blonde Russian women, his penchant for starving his own people while building shrines to sign basketballs, all punctuated by his wacky personal style and bouffant hairstyle made Kim one of the better known dictators, and his death was always going to cause a stir.
It goes without saying that his death would cause a lot of trauma inside North Korea, but according to reports, his death has taken on a totally unexpected metric with word that the earth is starting to split open and strange lights are starting to appear across the country, indicating that Kim’s death has had a deep effect on the planet itself, and that he may have been a God after all.
“A snowstorm hit as Mr Kim died and ice on the volcanic Chon lake near his reported birthplace at Mount Paektu cracked. Following the storm's sudden end at dawn on Tuesday, a message carved in rock - "Mount Paektu, holy mountain of revolution. Kim Jong-il" - glowed brightly, it said. It remained there until sunset,” the national news agency said on Thursday. 
Other miraculous events include a crane taking on the traditional Korean mourning posture at a statue of Kim’s father and huge sheets of ice breaking up, as though the Earth itself was crying.
People across the country have also been mourning, though in far less dramatic ways.
“For years they have played out this notion that Kim, and his father before him, were some kind of Holy entity, something beyond the traditional realm. For the most part that just seemed like propaganda but with these events it does call that into question. I mean storms end and ice breaks, but having it all happen in and around the time of his death does seem odd,” said Scrape TV North Korean analyst Lee Joo-Chan. “I mean they all seemed to happen in the mourning period, which admittedly is fairly long, but still they could not have happened but they did, and at the most opportune time as well. Very interesting and very concerning.”
It’s not clear if Kim’s successor, his son Jung-Un, is also full-blooded deity.
“There are a number of concerns here. One of course would be the way in which the world treated Him in His life. If He has ascended to the next realm it is likely that He will remember that and not look upon us kindly, which would not be good,” continued Lee. “The other concern is that he represents the next realm itself, and that everything strange and abusive he has done are the way the Gods want things done. That we should be forcing people to resort to cannibalism, that we should all be wearing high hair, because that is the way the Gods have determined it be and if we continue to ignore that, well, we could be eternally damned, which also would not be very good.”
Millions of people across the country have decided to fast through the mourning period, which isn’t very difficult for them.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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