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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > HUGO CHAVEZ CANCER PROGRESSING VERY NICELY ACCORDING TO U.S. SOURCES

hugo chavez has cancer

HUGO CHAVEZ CANCER PROGRESSING VERY NICELY ACCORDING TO U.S. SOURCES

November 11 2011

Washington, D.C. – Despite insistences that his cancer has regressed, it appears that Hugo Chavez is in fact still gravely ill. For weeks the Venezuelan leader has insisted that his cancer treatments over the last few months, which included three bouts of chemotherapy, was a total success and that his health was secure. hugo chavez hasa bird

Apparently, though, that is just not case. According to American officials Chavez’s cancer has not only not regressed, but actually gotten worse and that the President may only have a few months left to live, or at least before the Presidential elections next year.

That report will no doubt be met with hostility from Caracas but U.S. officials are insisting that their information is correct, making many in the administration very happy that their efforts are once again being rewarded.

“The international team of doctors in charge of treating Hugo Chávez’s cancer does not expect him to live more than six month. Sources who have given me privileged information and documents from inside the Venezuelan government indicate that

Chávez’s cancer is spreading faster than expected and could kill him before the presidential elections in October 2012,” said Roger Noriega, a former U.S. Ambassador

Chavez has been elusive in respect to his illness, first stating that it was simple surgery and then declaring himself well on numerous occasions.hugo chavez has cancer

It’s not clear what type of cancer Chavez has but his illness is only one of a handful of cases amongst socialist Latin leaders diagnosed recently.

“It’s going well. Chavez was kind of the tipping point for us. He was the highest profile case yet and it has worked out quite well for us. It has become clear that operations, as ultimately successful as they were, like the ones the one that got bin Laden or Gaddafi that expense is really a concern. This appears to be working very well and has been very inexpensive,” said a government insider. “If it continues to progress in this way I think we will have discovered a new avenue to deal with problematic leaders, provided of course that medical science doesn’t hurt our cause. Hopefully that just won’t be an issue.”

Chavez’s cancer became public shortly after the operation that killed Osama bin Laden, which when tied to the war in Afghanistan, is the most expensive assassination in history.hugo chavez cancer crazy

“This type of refined work is exactly what we have been trying to do. We have discovered that we can be just as effective with these types of operations and though  they may take a little longer, they are also relatively immune to criticism and so the overall gain is strong,” continued the insider. “Cancer is really an effective new weapon in our arsenal and though you likely won’t be seeing it on the battlefield anytime soon, in these types of scenarios it is just about perfect. We are very happy.”

It’s not clear if Chavez suspects a thing, but probably.

Emil Uliya, International Correspondent

NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > HUGO CHAVEZ CANCER PROGRESSING VERY NICELY ACCORDING TO U.S. SOURCES

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