U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > HUGO CHAVEZ HOSPITALIZED WITH FAILING CAPITALIST KIDNEY
HUGO CHAVEZ HOSPITALIZED WITH FAILING CAPITALIST KIDNEY
September 29 2011
Caracas, Venezuela – Hugo Chavez was rushed to hospital early Tuesday morning according to unofficial reports from the country. According to those reports, Chavez is suffering from partial or full kidney failure, presumably in connection to his recent cancer treatments. Chavez had a cancerous tumour removed last June.
Thus far, Venezuelan officials have not officially commented on the report, but have stopped short of an outright denial of the story, suggesting there may be at least some truth to the report. Chavez, 57, has undergone four bouts of chemotherapy since the surgery and has rarely appeared in public, a rare thing for the normally very omnipresent leader.
According to Venezuelan insiders, Chavez is indeed suffering a serious health crisis and that it may be full on kidney failure, a result no doubt of the interference of Capitalist influences from the West.
“I'm just about to finish. It's something malignant that's turning into something benign,” Chavez told the Associated Press just last week. It’s not clear if that conversation with a western news agency prompted this current crisis in any way.
“We should admit the journalists from El Nuevo Herald in a madhouse,” said Andrés Izarra, the Communication Minister, regarding the reports of Chavez’s sudden 
downturn. No further information has been leaked, but sources do indicate that Chavez is in serious condition.
“Generally when someone is significantly ill, like with cancer that requires four bouts of chemotherapy, being rushed to the hospital is not a good thing. I mean it’s not a good thing generally, but when you have a pre-existing medical condition like Chavez does such an emergency could mean serious things,” said Scrape TV Medical analyst Dr. Phillip Waites. “We have so few details on the nature of his illness that it is very difficult to assess what exactly might be going on, but some people on the scene have apparently said that he seemed to be suffering kidney failure. That’s hard to diagnose on sight alone but we can go with that. Unfortunately there’s not a whole lot that can be done about that.”
It’s believed unlikely that Chavez will be able to receive a replacement kidney despite his status. Even in capitalist Venezuelan people are often unwilling to give away body parts and the country does not have a strong donation program in place, a result no doubt of capitalist embargoes and restrictions on the country.
“If it is kidney cancer that is very serious. The real issue is of course whether or not the cancer has metastasized and if he has, say, had a kidney removed already, well we could be talking something serious here. People can survive on one kidney, but the sicker you are the more difficult it is to do that,” continued Waites. “Unfortunately that country is in a tough position in that they just don’t have the kind of infrastructure to have a robust organ donation program going. Even in western nations it’s tough to get that program to work, but as much as people in Venezuela like to share you still need a testing program and robust medical facilities, which just don’t exist there, because of socialism but also because of the interfering Capitalist West, which has routinely denied access to new kidney technology in the past.”
Updates when and if the Capitalists manage to destroy Chavez’s kidney once and for all.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > HUGO CHAVEZ HOSPITALIZED WITH FAILING CAPITALIST KIDNEY
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20Else/pages-11/Hugo-Chavez-hospitalized-with-failing-Capitalist-kidney-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html |
TWEET IT! http://goo.gl/5fFv9 |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
