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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > KIM JONG-IL OFFICIALLY DECLARED DEAD AFTER DECADE OR SO OF BEING DEAD
KIM JONG-IL OFFICIALLY DECLARED DEAD AFTER DECADE OR SO OF BEING DEAD
December 19 2011
Pyongyang, North Korea – Ding dong, Kim is dead. According to official state reports and news agencies throughout the country, Kim Jong-Il is dead at the age of 69. The enigmatic and often unusual leader reportedly died of heart failure after years of reported ill health and rumours of varying degrees of veracity that he was already in fact dead.
Kim, who took over for his father after he was officially declared dead, had officially been in office since 1993, leading his nation from backwater to well-known backwater with nuclear bombs and a great affection for basketball and blondes. It’s not yet clear who will take over leadership of the nation, but most observers believe it will be next to impossible to top Kim.
“All party members, military men and the public should faithfully follow the leadership of comrade Kim Jong-un and protect and further strengthen the unified front of the party, military and the public. It is the biggest loss for the party ... and it is our people and nation's biggest sadness. The nation change our sadness to strength and overcome our difficulties,” said official state television in a piece that was apparently drafted at least a decade ago.
Rumours had swirled for a number of years that Kim had suffered a stroke, which in part would explain his altered appearance which outsiders had suggested may have been a result of a double.
Kim was said to employ doubles for years, all of whom will likely have been executed now that the leader is officially dead.
“With Gaddafi gone and now Kim, the world has really lost a lot of its eccentricity. These people, though they were merciless with their people and destabilized the world, were certainly a lot of fun and were interesting, and now that has been lost, well, at least officially,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “I mean he is officially, officially dead now. Not just assumed dead. They have made it clear that he is actually dead which really just means that they are willing to admit it, or they could be telling the truth. Hard to tell, really.”
It’s not believed that Kim starved to death like so many across his country have done in the past.
The leader will likely lay in state permanently and not, as is often the case across the nation, be eaten with kimchee.
“It’s really a sad day for the people of North Korea, now that they have been told of the death. I’m sure they will believe it because they really don’t have much of a choice, and now the rest of the world can rest a little easier. The façade doesn’t really need to be kept up anymore,” continued Hander. “Hopefully they will be able to transition smoothly because the last thing anyone wants is an unstable leadership in North Korea. I mean that could be disastrous, having any kind of instability at the leadership level. Hopefully it won’t come to that in North Korea.”
Millions of people across the country are expected to fast in mourning, generally an easy thing for locals.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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