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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > MAN-EATING BANANAS CAUSE PANIC ACROSS MOZAMBIQUE
MAN-EATING BANANAS CAUSE PANIC ACROSS MOZAMBIQUE
December 2 2011
Maputo, Mozambique – There are plenty of things in Africa ready and willing to eat people. Lions, cheetahs, snakes and all other types of creatures more than capable of killing humans are rampant across the continent. Per capita, Africa probably has more man-eaters than any other area of the world, so much so that it’s really remarkable we ever made it out of there at all.
Not everyone has made it out of Africa though, in fact a billion or so people still live on the continent alongside all those danger. For the most part those threats have been quelled, knocked back by the progress of man, but occasionally they do present themselves and cause serious problems for inhabitants.
Luckily, those threats are widely known and methods to control them are ready at hand. That is until recently when a new and deadly predator suddenly appeared on the scene in the capital city of Mozambique, threatening the lives of the millions of people in the country. Caught unprepared and with no natural defences, the people of that country and now in peril and asking for aid as man-eating bananas start to take over.
“There is no record of the entry of any infected bananas into the country. Our staff on the borders have been very careful to avoid the entry into the country of any infected product. Mozambique is safe,” said the Ministry of Health in a statement.
That assurance has not stopped the panic in the country which has spread through emails and text messages, the latter of which are ubiquitous across the nation.
According to the reports, the problematic bananas, infected with some type of man-eating virus, are imported from South Africa though most bananas in the country are grown domestically.
“If this virus does indeed exist it would not take much for it to spread to domestic bananas. Aside from all the death, which can take days to even start to show symptoms, there is likely no reason to suspect one banana from another so if infected species did invade, and presumably spread to domestic foods, it would be impossible to notice,” said Scrape TV Health analyst Rebecca Phelps. “Death by banana is relatively uncommon, even in Africa, but if this does prove to be true we could be looking at a dangerous new epidemic that could easily spread throughout the world.”
Mozambique does ship bananas to South Africa but as of yet no signs of the disease have presented themselves in that country.
“The most important thing right now is that we deal with the situation that we have in hand, not some fantasy of what we hope things will be like. We need to understand this situation and deal with it, not ignore it and hope it goes away,” continued Phelps. “That is what allowed things like AIDS and lions to cause so much death. If we deal with this now, deal with these killer bananas while they are still isolated we can prevent them from causing any more damage and that is all we should be focussed on right now.”
A similar outbreak of killer pineapple was reported in Haiti earlier this year.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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