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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > OFFICIALS MAKE IT CLEAR THAT EUROPEAN WATER DOES NOT HYDRATE
OFFICIALS MAKE IT CLEAR THAT EUROPEAN WATER DOES NOT HYDRATE
November 20 2011
Brussels, Belgium – Water has been called many things by many cultures across the world. It has become more than just an elixir of survival, it has become a part of the social and cultural makeup of the human animal. Water has become possibly the most influential single thing in the course of human history.
No one will debate the need for water, the necessity to drink in order to survive. That is something basically understood by nearly all forms of life on the planet. Without water we, all mammals, plants, even insects, simply go away. Water brings life, it is life in many ways.
That is unless you live in Europe.
According to a new edict set down by the European Union commission, water can no longer be promoted as having any special effects aside from staving off death. What the means is that, despite decades of research and common sense, that drinking water from Europe can no longer be considered a source of hydration and that the product cannot be promoted as having any impact whatsoever on hydration levels.
“Dehydration is usually caused by a clinical condition and that one could remain adequately hydrated without drinking water. The EU is saying that this does not reduce the risk of dehydration and that is correct,” said Brian Ratcliffe, part of the council which made the recommendation.
Under the new rule, which comes into effect next month, any manufacturer of water who claims that it has hydration properties could face up to two years in prison.
The rule has come under criticism from many across the Union, primarily water advocates, who fear that the new rules could lead to mass dehydration and death across the continent.
“This is a completely ludicrous claim on so many levels. It is just common sense that water hydrates and the commission knows this, whether they will admit it or not. Putting out this type of edict is the height of irresponsibility and it should be rescinded immediately,” said Micah Watkins of the Belgian health council. “The big fear is that this will prompt people across the continent to simply stop drinking entirely. That will cause death on scale that even Europe has not seen before and in very short order. This is a very dangerous edict and it must be removed.”
Water is present in many foods and other drinks which may abate the pace of death throughout the continent.
“Death from dehydration is not a pleasant thing and it really doesn’t take long. In only a few hours people become irritable and touchy and after a day or so there is little chance of full recovery. Organs shut down and the body begins to collapse. Death in three days is the norm,” said Scrape TV Medical analyst Dr. Phillip Waites. “Fortunately, right now, this only affects people selling water, not those drinking it. That could change though and if the support for water consumption does dissipate, well, that will be pretty much the end of everyone in Europe, well for the law-abiding people anyways.”
The EU also recently banned sandwiches but no prosecutions have ever gone forward for sellers or users.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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