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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > SARKOZY WILL NOT GIVE EUROPE A SECOND CHANCE THIS TIME
SARKOZY WILL NOT GIVE EUROPE A SECOND CHANCE THIS TIME
December 9 2011
Brussels, Belgium – After centuries of bloodshed, easily the greatest volume of death in the history of the world, Europe finally seemed to be getting things together. The rise of the Eurozone, cooperation between former blood enemies, and enlightened view of the world in general had made Europe the standard for cooperation, at least for a little while.
Things have gotten bad across the continent, so bad in fact that many are fearing not only the end of the Euro, not only of the Union, but also a possible return to the bad old times of butchery and slaughter on a massive scale. While such a scenario may still be far off, at least one nation, one that has been at the centre of most of that violence over the years, has made it clear that it bad times may well be coming.
Speaking just hours before a crucial conference that could decide the future of the continent, French President Nicolas Sarkozy made it clear that things either needed to change now, or the end of Europe would be nigh, something of which he will make absolutely sure.
“Never has Europe been so necessary and never has it been in so much danger... Never has the risk of Europe's explosion been so great. If we don't have an agreement on Friday, we will not have a second chance,” said Sarkozy, before adding “You will not have a second chance.”
The President then stormed off the stage, pushing the Austrian representative on his way out and knocking him on his butt.
Sarkozy has been working with German Chancellor Angela Merkel in great depth trying to resolve the financial crisis but has become increasingly frustrated in recent days, especially with the Dutch. No reason, just because they are the Dutch.
Merkel also urged cooperation but was far less visibly frustrated. She later spread her notes all across the table, crowding out other representatives and spilling their water all over the place.
“This is really a dire time for the EU. They aren’t exaggerating, really they aren’t. I doubt that if this conference fails to find a resolution on Friday that storm troopers will suddenly start marching out of Berlin but you never know. Most nations do have contingency plans in place already, as they should,” said Scrape TV European analyst Gillian Weismann. “Some of those plans will be better than others of course. The Italians for example, I’m sure they’ve got something they think will work but, well, let’s be serious about that for a second. Other countries though, I’m sure they will be ready.”
Greece will not be attending the conference. Other countries refused to pitch in for a flight for representatives from that country.
“It’s not a stretch to imagine a brand new massive war breaking out in Europe the likes of which we have never seen before. Obviously that is not what anyone wants, well not what most people want, but it is very conceivable. Luckily it will likely be a short war. I mean they don’t have money, they won’t be able to fight for long,” continued Weisman. “They can try and all, and all power to them, but they aren’t going to last long. Not against the Germans anyway. Maybe the French, certainly the Italians, but not the Germans.”
Poland ceded it’s seat to a sack of potatoes which will be cut up and divided amongst the rest of the participants.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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