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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > CANADA REALLY, REALLY MAD ABOUT U.S. REJECTION OF KEYSTONE PIPELINE

oil sands

CANADA REALLY, REALLY MAD ABOUT U.S. REJECTION OF KEYSTONE PIPELINE

January 20 2012

Ottawa, Canada – At some point human beings will have to move away from our reliance on dead dinosaurs to fuel our vehicles, but that point it still a long ways off. Despite all the talk of evaporating oil supplies and the need for new energy oil derrick
technologies, the reality is that the world is still abundant with oil in various forms. Eventually it will run out, and as nations like China and India start to come online the pace of that depletion will only increase, but for now we are safe.

That is even more true now that we have developed new technologies to extract oil from new sources, particularly oil sands, a process which had previously cost more than the gain, especially because of the limited distribution of those sources. One of those sources, the biggest in fact, is located in remote regions of Alberta, Canada, a resource which is now being tapped and will become a major source of oil production for the country.

Unfortunately, Americans, still the largest consumer of oil products by far, will be getting none of it after rejecting the Keystone pipeline proposal which has prompted the Canadians to sell the oil to other people. Controversial on both sides of the stephen harper barack obama
border, the pipeline deal is now dead as far as the Canadians are concerned and now Americans won’t get any of their precious oil sand oil even if they beg.

“The decision by the Obama administration underlines the importance of diversifying and expanding our markets, including the growing Asian market,” said Natural Resource Minister Joe Oliver in Ottawa after the decision by President Obama.
The pipeline has been a significant source of controversy from all sides including environmentalists and domestic oil producers.

Canada will now seek to ship all that precious, precious oil to China and India, leaving the Americans without even a drop.

“On the surface this does seem like a stupid decision but the realities of oil production, and where it is garnered from, in the U.S. is not quite what people seem to believe. There aren’t barrels and barrels of oil being imported from the Middle East into the U.S., in fact very little comes from that region and recently the U.S. has become a net fuel producer,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “The real advantage to the pipeline wasn’t the oil it would bring into the U.S., but rather keeping it from the Chinese but that is now no longer a possibility. I’m sure the Canadians won’t even consider selling to the U.S. anymore, not now.”all dressed chips

In an apparently unrelated move, shipments of Justin Bieber CDs to the U.S. jumped dramatically after the announcement.

“This is a complex issue and the U.S. probably made the right move for the short term, hoping perhaps that the Canadians would just hold onto the oil until they wanted it but that does not appear to be the case. They really want o sell it, it seems,” continued Green. “I’m sure with a little coaxing the Canadians could be turned back to the Americans, perhaps just hold onto the oil for a few decades until they really need it. I mean this is Canada making threats after all, Canada, like seriously.”

Canadian officials also balked at a similar rejection of exports of All-Dressed potato chips to the U.S. which has baffled lawmakers on both sides as they are delicious.

Emil Uliya, International Correspondent

NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > CANADA REALLY, REALLY MAD ABOUT U.S. REJECTION OF KEYSTONE PIPELINE

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