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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > IRAN MINIATURIZES MISSING SPY DRONE AND SENDS IT BACK TO THE U.S.
IRAN MINIATURIZES MISSING SPY DRONE AND SENDS IT BACK TO THE U.S.
January 18 2012
Tehran, Iran – There have been few wins for Iran in recent years, particularly since pushing their nuclear program forward so aggressively. Sanctions, threats of war, riots, and assassinations are common in the country now but Iran has pressed on, pushing through the hard times, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel that no one else seems to comprehend.
Occasionally, though, the country does score a success, as is bound to happen given all the activity surrounding her. Without debate, the biggest win the country has had recently was the successful capture of an American spy drone last month which unsettled the West and brought celebrations in Iran.
Understandably the U.S. asked for the drone back, hoping to prevent the disclosure of secret military technology. Equally understandable, Iran declined to give it back, seeing it as too great a victory, regardless of what intelligence can be gleaned from it, or at least that is what people assumed. Now the Iranian government has decided to give back the drone, albeit it in a slightly form, after perfecting a shrink ray and reducing the ship to palm-sized, which will be sent back stateside in short order.
“The Americans may now have this vessel back. He have achieved what it is that we set out to do, to show them they cannot travel our country with impunity and spy on the people Iran. This vessel represents a gross violation of our national sovereignty 
and the capture of the ship is vindication for our people,” said a spokesperson for the Iranian government. “Now that we have proven our capabilities they may have the ship back. We will be sending it in a small box directly to the White House so please President Obama be expecting this generous gift from the people of Iran.”
The drone is reportedly now pink, though it’s not clear if that is a result of the shrinking process or something added later on.
The U.S. has not commented on the likely return of the vessel, though it is believed the drone was captured while surveying a site that is believed to house the Iranian shrink-ray program in the northern part of the country.
“This, I mean there is no other way to read this but as a victory for Iran. Not only did 
they bring down the ship and hold onto to it as long as they wanted, they also sent it back with the results of a program the ship was supposed to be uncovering. That is a huge success for Iran, massive success for their shrink-ray program, provided they are being honest about it,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “That is the concern with Iran. You never really know if they are telling the truth and they do tend to exaggerate their abilities. I’m sure that if they do actually send the ship back to the U.S. it will be studied in great details just to ensure that it is the original ship and not some model, a constructed miniature. Finding that would be a blow to the shrink-ray program and to Iranian pride and I wouldn’t be surprised if it never sows up on American shores because of the risk.”
Iran made no mention of the nuclear program, which is believed to be a larger but way less cool threat to international security.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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