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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > QUEEN ELIZABETH READY TO DIE ALONE AND FORGOTTEN AFTER TAXPAYERS REFUSE TO BUY NEW YACHT
QUEEN ELIZABETH READY TO DIE ALONE AND FORGOTTEN AFTER TAXPAYERS REFUSE TO BUY NEW YACHT
January 16 2012
London, U.K. – Whether because of sheer determination, because of tradition both legal and social, or just through the sheer charisma of the person in charge, the British Royal Family has somehow been able to stay not in the modern world, but relevant to it, long past the time when the whole concept of a monarchy has become an anachronism.
Officially, Queen Elizabeth is the head of 16 sovereign states. That is no doubt a far cry from the peak of the British Empire but still a formidable success in the era of Republics and Democracy. The Queen of course does not have any real power over the governance of those nations, and neither will the Kings who follow her, but still she reigns supreme, a part of their daily lives, however diminished.
For most of those countries, nations like Canada and Australia, the Queen is little more than the old lady on their money but for the people of her home nation, England and Great Britain as a whole, she is much more than that. Both a source of pride and derision, the Queen is omnipresent in the British Isles, not only residing there but seeding her influence throughout the area. Now though it appears that even in Jolly old England her influence is starting to dim after the government decided not to finance a fancy new yacht for her highness, something she is apparently just fine with as she just sits in her palace waiting to die.
“I don't think anyone is suggesting public money should be used for this. There is a difficult economic situation, there are scarce public resources, therefore we don't think it would be an appropriate use of public money,” said Steve Field, spokesperson for Prime Minister David Cameron. “There are a number of proposals out there for a privately financed yacht.”
The Queen’s former yacht, the Britannia was decommissioned in 1997 after 44 years in service. The proposed new yacht would have been a part of the Queen’s diamond jubilee celebration.
It’s not clear if private funds will be enough to make up the £60 million ($92 million) fee for the new vessel.
“The Queen is okay with it, honestly. She really liked the idea of having a new yacht but she understands that times are tough and she doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone. It’s fine, she’ll just sit around in Buckingham Palace and wither away, waiting to die. It’s fine, really,” said a Royal insider. “I mean she has served the country, all these countries, for six decades but she completely understands why they don’t want to give her a yacht. She really doesn’t even want it, honestly. She wouldn’t take it even if they decided to give her one.”
The Queen will likely have to resign herself to travel on public yachts, cleared out of commoners of course.
“The Queen has always, in her sixty years serving the people of Great Britain and the Commonwealth, made them her priority. Sixty years is a long time to serve and she doesn’t want her appetites to interfere with all that hard work over those years. If the people feel she should not have a yacht, then she will not, it’s that simple,” continued the insider. “She realizes that she probably doesn’t have much time left anyways and maybe it’s best that she stay away from the open ocean and all that luxury. It’s perhaps best that she just remain in her private quarters until eventually death takes her, hopefully in her sleep, peacefully. That is how she will spend her remaining days, alone and awaiting death.”
The Queen has not been seen in public since her hopes of a new yacht were dashed.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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