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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR DEPLOYED TO THE FALKLANDS
WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR DEPLOYED TO THE FALKLANDS
February 1 2012
London, U.K. – For the majority of people outside the United Kingdom and Argentina the focus, sustained over nearly two centuries, on the Falkland Islands seems strange and largely wasteful. After all, the islands are tiny and very much out of the way, home to a little over 3000 people and possessed of little or nothing in terms of resources, yet for two nations it is a big deal.
Back in 1982 Argentina and the U.K. fought what was likely the most one-side conflict on history after the Argentine dictatorship at the time conquered the archipelago. In total, the equivalent of more than a third of the population was killed in the two-month war that ended with things being pretty much the same as they were before, a stalemate over little rocks in the sea.
Since that time not much has changed. Argentina wants the islands and Britain wants to keep them, even in a world with far more dire issues going on, and both sides are willing to fight for control. The United Kingdom is in fact so determined to keep hold of the islands that it is showing its willingness to sacrifice its favourite son, Prince William, if needed to keep control of the islands and ensure those little hunks of rock remain British forever.
“The Royal Navy has had a continuous presence in the South Atlantic for many years. The deployment of HMS Dauntless to the South Atlantic has been long planned, is entirely routine and replaces another ship on patrol,” said a spokesperson for the Royal Navy. “We can confirm that the Duke of Cambridge has in fact been dispatched the Falklands aboard a search and rescue helicopter. We have no desire and no need to escalate this conflict as we are in utter control of the Falklands for the people of the region.”
The Argentine government rejected the notion that the state-of-the-art vessel housing the future of the British Monarchy being in the area is routine, likely because it gets their argument a lot of attention.
Argentina officially does not support search and rescue missions of people from the islands, preferring that they drown instead.
“I’m sure that the Royal Navy would not send William out to an area where they believed that actual conflict might occur, that would be very cavalier. He is the future King after all and putting him in harm’s way would be very irresponsible, something the British are not known for doing generally,” said Scrape TV International Conflict analyst Mario Martinez. “Of course you never really know when it comes to the Falklands. It makes sense that they protected them after the 1982 invasion, but this desperate clinging to the past just seems silly given what the islands are. They could send a cruise liner down there and evacuate the whole place but instead they send military vessels. It’s clear the British don’t think rationally when it comes to that area and that could put William in danger.”
Though rhetoric has continued in the region there have been no recent conflicts or invasions.
“I’m sure that no one in the Royal Navy wants to see William die at the hand of Argentineans but they really don’t seem to be all that rational in this area and that could potentially endanger him, which no one would really want,” continued Martinez. “That may be part of the plan. They know that Argentina wouldn’t want to kill the future King and while he is there they may stay away from blowing up their rescue helicopters, which continues to be a problem, though one which may now have a resolution. Good going Wills.”
William’s wife Kate is reportedly very, very lonely back home in Britain.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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