41 DEAD IN KILLER TURKISH WEDDING

May 4 2009

Ankara, Turkey – Turkey has no doubt had a turbulent past. Sitting on the northern edge of the seat of human civilization the country has been conquered again and again and been used as a thoroughfare for conquest of the Middle East. All that changed 600 years ago when the early days of the Ottoman Empire started to form and, instead of being conquered again and again, Turkey started to annex other
countries. With their power stretching across central Europe and into the Middle East, the Ottomans ruled almost unchallenged until their unfortunate siding with a certain German Kaiser that effectively resulted in the end of Empire.

Since that ignominious defeat that set their pride back hundreds of years, the Turkish people have rebounded. Building one of the most vibrant and diverse economies in Europe and embracing their deep and rich history, the Turks have set a standard for the rest of the Muslim world. Turks haven’t forgotten their wild side though, as is evidenced by a mass killing at a wedding today. With at least 41 dead in the conflict that reportedly stemmed from a feud between rebel and government forces, the Turks proved that they still know how to put on a killer party.

“Turkey has been on the outs for a long time. They have been trying for years to gain membership in the European Union and are consistently rejected. They’ve modernized huge chunks of the country and become a formidable economic power, but huge segments of the country still remain wild. All in all they have done well considering how soundly they were defeated in the war,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “Anyone who has been to Turkey will tell you that the people there are warm and affectionate and as friendly as people in any other country. Its good thing they are loosening up a bit, showing the world how they can party. Maybe that will help them into the EU.”

While information is still coming in, local media has reported that members of both families were a part of the state-sponsored militia which has been battling Kurdish rebels for the last 25 years. It’s not immediately clear if the two parties planned the attack together or what kind of fees rebels charge for weddings.

“Most people worry over catering costs and where to seat people but Turkish families need to prepare for this kind of thing. While it’s not exactly common place to have gunman show up at
weddings, it is happening more and more throughout the country. It’s a little too early to tell if this is a trend or if it’s just a new way of doing things. I can bet the traditionalists at least won’t be too happy about it,” continued Hander. “Turkey is changing though and sometimes that means that eschewing tradition and doing things differently. Gunplay at weddings is a new and radical way to change up the ceremony and show the rest of the world that you aren’t afraid of a little danger, or a little fun.”

Mass murder at weddings has been frowned upon at most weddings in the west, outside Italy, but has become relatively common in much of the industrializing world. Countries like Iraq and Pakistan have pioneered the effort, but it may be the mass introduction into dominantly European country that allows it catch on throughout the rest of the world.

“Nobody likes death, especially at a wedding, but everyone loves a good story and there’s little doubt that these two families are going
to be talking about this wedding for a long time to come. It brings excitement and enthusiasm unlike any other traditional wedding event ever could,” continued Hander. “This also has the added advantage of free photography. For many families pictures can be one of the most expensive parts of the entire wedding process, but that’s just a plus.”

Scrape TV News attempted to contact the European Union regarding Turkey’s current status but our calls were not returned.    

Mike Michaels, American Correspondent

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