NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > REPORTS INDICATE CARLA BRUNI DEPRESSED AS MICHELLE OBAMA MOVES ON

REPORTS INDICATE CARLA BRUNI DEPRESSED AS MICHELLE OBAMA MOVES ON

April 6 2009

Strasbourg, France – With President Obama and his wife Michelle on the last leg of their trip to Europe most observers are notching the visit as a hearty success. With significant progress made at the G-20 conference in Strasbourg and positive moves made during the NATO meeting in Prague, the Obama’s are prepping for a return home having charmed nearly everyone in the European Union. One person who was particularly impressed though isn’t so happy to see the trip end as reports indicate that Carla Bruni-Sarkozy has fallen into a deep depression.

Tongues were wagging long before the Obama’s arrived in Strasbourg for the start of the G-20 summit -- the annual meeting between the 20 most financially powerful nations – over the fashion soap opera brewing between the two first ladies. Those wagging tongues became torrents when the two first families met as Bruni deftly avoided kissing the President ‘hello’ just moments after warmly embracing and kissing Michelle. Throughout the Obama’s stay in France Bruni was attached at the hip to Michelle who seemed largely oblivious and left with few parting words, which pushed the former model into a funk.

“It’s a difficult thing, as many people can attest, to have strong feelings for someone who does not reciprocate. It’s especially hard when the object of your affection seems to hardly regard you at all. Having that played out in the public eye and in such a media saturated way has to make all that more devastating for her,” said Scrape TV Romance analyst Ingrid Valencia. “It was so obvious to everyone else it’s really remarkable that Michelle didn’t pick up on the vibes. Maybe she was just trying to avoid the situation realizing that a love affair between the two of them had scandal written all over it. She may of course also not be a lesbian.”

Michelle Obama has had a rather muted love life but Bruni, being a famous model and singer, has had a number of very public affairs with public people before settling down with Nicolas Sarkozy. Amng her famous conquests are Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton and another former French President, Laurent Fabius. To date she has shown no indication of lesbianism.

“Bruni has been on the record as having a preference for polygamy and polyandry and
many expected that when she married Sarkozy she would eventually end up in the arms of another man, given her history. I don’t think many people would have predicted seeing her lusting after another woman, never mind the wife of the most powerful man in the world,” continued Valencia. “The heart though moves in mysterious ways. I mean what else would explain her marriage to Sarkozy in the first place? Sometimes we are blindsided by love, though generally it stays within the preferred gender. Being gay isn’t really something that just suddenly comes over you.”

An affair between the two women would no doubt have major geo political implications as well as significant issues within the United States who have a much more conservative view of sex and homosexuality than the French. The talk now though is turning away from the more salacious elements of the story and towards the mental and emotional state of the French First Lady.

“Who knows what happened behind closed doors. The ‘cancellation’ of a trip to a
cancer ward may have just been an elaborate cover-up. If that was the case than Bruni could be in an even more fragile state than first predicted because as we all know sex changes everything,” continued Valencia. “Both leaders have a lot on their plate right now and the last thing Sarkozy needs is to be dealing with a hurt and upset wife. Hopefully she will bounce back from this like she has from her many relationships with men. She did however say that she finds herself 'so last year' which is a little unsettling. As for Michelle, affair or not chances are she hasn’t thought twice about Bruni, which hopefully no one ever tells her.”

The Obama’s are expected back stateside on Wednesday, without sensible shoes or baggy jeans in tow.

Emil Uliya, International Correspondent

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