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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > RUSSIA DEPLOYING BOMBERS LIKE IT’S 1959
RUSSIA DEPLOYING BOMBERS LIKE IT’S 1959
Havana, Cuba – “I was dreamin when I wrote this, Forgive me if it goes astray, But when I woke up this morning, Coulda sworn it was judgment day, The sky was all purple, There were people runnin everywhere, Tryin 2 run from the destruction, U know I didn't even care.”
Those words, sung by a purple pop prognosticator almost thirty years, were meant to express a fear of the hawkish Reagan administration and the proliferation of nuclear weapons. In the intervening years the world has changed dramatically. The collapse of the Soviet Union, the end of the Cold War, and the reduction in the number of nuclear weapons around the world has rendered those fears of the early eighties relatively mute. Or at least it had until today when it was announced that Cuba, and Venezuela, had opened their airfields to Russian bombers once again.
The announcement of a new strategic initiative between the two countries comes at the end of a long series of discussions as well as fresh fears of aggression from the former head of the Soviet Union which so nearly helped push the world to the brink of Nuclear Armageddon. Much of the blame for this new threat is being placed squarely on the Russians, but more than a little is being set aside for the singer of that song, Prince.
“Lemme tell ya something, If u didn't come 2 party, Don't bother knockin on my door, I got a lion in my pocket, And baby he's ready 2 roar,Yeah, everybody’s got a bomb, We could all die any day,But before I'll let that happen, Ill dance my life away”
There has been no confirmation, but reports indicate that Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin are both major fans of the Purple Wonder.
“There wasn’t a whole lot of access to western music in the Soviet Union, obviously, but when the Cold War ended western influence began to permeate all of the former Soviet Republics, slowly to be sure, but consistently. From what we’ve heard 1999 and Purple Rain have just recently charted in Moscow, though reportedly Putin has been a fan since at least 2005 and he of course forced Medvedev to like it as well,” said Scrape TV International analyst
Gustav Hander. “There was a dire warning in the song that is as relevant today as it was when it first charted, charted in the West I mean, that despite it being set to a catchy tune that causes people to completely ignore what is being said was in fact a warning, not a challenge. Perhaps Putin and Medvedev are suffering from translation issues, or perhaps more severely they are mishearing the lyrics.”
Misheard lyrics, properly called Mondegreens, are generally the source of much amusement. First named by journalist Sylvia Wright, mishearing music lyrics in particular has become a growth industry, spawning numerous websites and countless hours of amusement for those afflicted. It is unlikely that Wright, or Prince when he was writing his most famous song, could have predicted that a mondegreen could become the precursor to nuclear conflict.
“Prince was reflecting the world he saw around him, set to a danceable and catchy beat, and even though it is very clearly a sarcastic remark regarding the end of the world, mishearing those lyrics, amplified by language issues, it appears as though they may have sparked a new stage of aggression between the world’s two largest nuclear powers,” continued Hander. “The world is much different now that it was in 1962 or 1982 and hopefully that means that cooler heads will prevail in this most recent butting of heads. Hopefully it won’t prompt Prince to write another song, not so much because it may spark another conflict, but because he really hasn’t produced much worth listening to since ‘Diamonds and Pearls’.”
‘1999’ the album, Prince’s breakthrough release, also spawned the hit ‘Little Red Corvette’ though it is not immediately clear what type of car Putin drives. It’s also not clear what kind of reaction he will have when he reaches the beginning of the boy band era, specifically ‘New Kids on the Block’ and their oft misheard lyric ‘oh oreo the white stuff’
“1999 don't stop, don't stop, say it 1 more time, Two thousand zero zero party over, Oops out of time Yeah, yeah (tonight Im gonna), So tonight we gonna (party like it's 1999), We gonna, oww”
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > RUSSIA DEPLOYING BOMBERS LIKE IT’S 1959
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