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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > ENGLAND TO WIPE OUT MOST EMBARRASSING HISTORICAL EVENTS
ENGLAND TO WIPE OUT MOST EMBARRASSING HISTORICAL EVENTS
February 27 2010
London, U.K. – There are a few nations in the world that have truly redefined the course of human history. Some of those nations, such as Mesopotamia or Iberia, have fallen away, rendered to the soup of history. Others, such as Greece and Mongolia,
have become shells of their former selves, relying on handouts and foreign aid only a few centuries after dominating much of the globe. A few though, principally younger nations, have managed to hold onto continued influence and strength despite being far from the heights of their former power.
One of those nations is the United Kingdom which has arguably made more of an impact on global society than any other nation. With offspring such as The United States and a language that is now the most ubiquitous in human history, the U.K.’s influence has been undeniably massive despite much of it happening in only the last six hundred or so years. Even today the country remains enormously influential, and with many of its former protectorates – Canada, India, Australia – being amongst the wealthiest and most successful nations that influence is likely to only grow in the coming years. There have been bad times for the country though and
for many the embarrassments of the past can cause a great deal of heartache and embarrassment. That has prompted many educators and politicians in England to engage in a new programme which will negate much of that embarrassment by officially declaring 1700 as the beginning of their history.
“The proposal put forward by the University of Sussex to withdraw from certain areas of research and specialist teaching in history reflects three factors: first, a strategic determination to focus our research in areas of sustainability and strength; second, to align undergraduate provision with areas of demonstrable demand; and, thirdly, a need to reflect the Government’s financial policy for higher education,” said Professor Paul Layzell, deputy vice-chancellor of Sussex University. “The history degree at Sussex, as befits a programme offered by one of the top 20 departments in the country, will continue to be broad based and intellectually challenging.”
The proposal will also restart history for the rest of Europe at 1900.
“While surely there will be concerns, and valid ones, the idea is not totally new. Japan for example simply erased the War years from their history books and made it seem as though nothing at all happened during that five or six years. This has the effect of, ultimately, rendering the embarrassing past non-existent as new generations grow up without any knowledge of that past,” said Scrape TV Historical analyst Lars Luger. “It’s a little more complicated for the U.K., or at least this proposal is, because it will negate say the life of Shakespeare or the development of the English language which are seminal moments in their history, never mind the world’s. It will however eliminate the Norman conquest of the country and more importantly the 1688 revolution which put the country under the rule of the Dutch of all people, so you win some and you lose some.”
The Netherlands have long been regarded as one of those countries which has fallen far afoul of its former glory, and their conquest of the U.K. almost anachronistic.
“Look, with the French there are a lot of jokes but they are one of the most important and influential countries in history. All joking aside, they deserve their success and so being conquered by them isn’t really so bad, especially considering the ancillary benefits such as Middle English and democracy, but with the Dutch, well that’s a different story,” continued Luger. “The Dutch used to be conquerors, they created the stock exchange, and they were instrumental in the slave trade which led to the modern day success of the U.S., but that was a long time ago. Previous generation could accept being taken down by the Dutch, but for future generations it is so bizarre it might as well be fiction, so doing away with it in schools, in that context, seems totally rationale.”
Greece meanwhile, on the verge of economic collapse, has decided to eliminate all history after the conquest of the Ottomans, which makes it currently the year 1453 in that country.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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