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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > END OF THE WORLD COMES EARLY FOR EUROPE
END OF THE WORLD COMES EARLY FOR EUROPE
April 18 2010
London, U.K. – For centuries prophets, religious texts, and crazy people all over the world have been predicting the end of times. Whether as a result of environmental destruction, war, social upheaval, or the interference of the divine, to a person those
prognosticators have almost relished the end of times and the total destruction of humanity. While science and logic have dismissed those concerns as either ramblings or religious doctrine, the belief continues to pervade popular culture. One warning, above all others, has gripped the public’s interest for years, the year 2012.
The year 2012 has for centuries been the final year for humanity first set forth by the ancient Mayan calendar. Though scholars have dismissed those concerns not only from a scientific point of view but also as a result of studying Mayan texts which make no such claims, the pervasive belief remains that sometime in that year everything we know will come to an end. For the people of Europe that end of times appears to have come early as the continent struggles under clouds of volcanic ash spewing forth from Iceland. Choking plane traffic and lungs across the continent, the eruptions in Eyjafjallajökull have brought the continent to a standstill and left many wondering if those predictions of the end of everything were correct after all.
“I’ve never seen anything like this. The whole sky is covered in ash and it makes it impossible to fly anywhere. I’ve been flying for thirty years and I have never seen anything remotely like this in all my time. It really does appear to be the end,” said Helmut Mane, a pilot of Austrian Airlines. “Of course flying is the least of my concerns at this point considering I have a family and a great deal of faith. I have to make peace with the Lord and the people around me so that I can die in peace. I must find a way to get home.”
Thus far the cloud has covered most of Eastern Europe but is rapidly spreading across the entire continent.
“This could be the apocalypse or simply a harbinger of it. Thus far there doesn’t seem
to be any mass death or say upheaval of the ground sucking people into the ground and the bowels of Hell. That would be a real sign that the end of times are upon us, but this massive cloud of ash could be a sign of things to come,” said Scrape TV Apocalypse analyst Seth Morris. “There is no rule book for the apocalypse and so we don’t really know what will happen when it is upon us but things like this, things so abnormal and dangerous, are likely the type of thing that could happen. Thus far this has simply disrupted traffic and perhaps made a few people worried but when it actually comes it will be with a much bigger boom, likely anyway.”
Most experts predict running in the streets, looting, rape, and murder alongside massive environmental upheaval.
“Obviously this could all be just one of those things that happen and totally unrelated to the apocalypse but it’s generally better to fear the worst and hope for the best. That’s likely not going to help us when the wrath of God is upon us, but it should help us get through the next couple of years at least,” continued Morris. “I’m not a prophet and have never claimed to be but from what I’ve seen this doesn’t appear to be the apocalypse. I’ve been wrong before however and it is entirely possible that I’m totally off and the people of Europe are doomed. I guess we will have to wait and see.”
The people of Ireland have reportedly taken to drinking amidst concerns about the end of everything.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > END OF THE WORLD COMES EARLY FOR EUROPE
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