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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > METALLICA ANNOYING THE TALIBAN AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE ELSE
METALLICA ANNOYING THE TALIBAN AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE ELSE
April 9 2010
Kandahar, Afghanistan – There was a thought, for a brief moment, that the war in Afghanistan would be won easily. There was little debate regarding the importance of the conflict. With very clear evidence that the regime in charge was harbouring a force
that could threaten the lives of people around the world, the war needed to be waged. In the early days everything was going the right way with the Taliban and Al Qaeda scrambling for their lives but eventually things stalemated, focus was shifted, the Taliban regained strength and now more than eight years later the war continues to rage.
Like many wars in the modern era the eventual fate of Afghanistan will likely be decided not by warriors by politicians negotiating a mutually acceptable stalemate. For now though, the warriors continue to fight with coalition forces still in tough against a resurgent enemy that is gaining disturbing ground not only in Afghanistan but also in the surrounding region. Not ones to take it lying down however, American forces have brought a new weapon to the battlefield, a weapon that is distinctly American, and one that many hope could turn the tide of the conflict. That weapon is one that has been used against domestic threats for years to great success, driving more than a few Americans to capitulate or even beg for bullets to the brain.
“We’ve been playing Offspring, Metallica, and Thin Lizzy but mostly Metallica. Some locals complain but it's a way to push them to choose. It's motivating Marines as well. The Taliban hate that music,” said one Marine. “We also broadcast messages from the Afghan government and we tell ‘em they are going to die but mainly we crank the music up and hope it will drive them out of their hiding spots so we can take them down. The gloves are off now and we are going to make them aware that there is no place to hide from Hetfield andUlrich.”
The Marine also stated that they generally play Metallica’s post-black album music but wear earplugs when they do so.
“Playing loud music has been a tried and true tactic for a number of years. It’s an
interesting juxtaposition because while some people will pay big money to be exposed to this music, it is used as punishment for others. Of course with Metallica it’s pretty much been both of those things in recent years,” said Scrape TV Music analyst Dylan Chambers. “They really had something going in the early years and while you have to congratulate them for being bold enough to change their musical direction multiples times, sometimes change isn’t for the better. Now they’ve turned into this weird fusion of new and middle Metallica, played by a bunch of old men and frankly it’s gotten a little hard to listen to recently. At least they are a proven weapon against enemy forces because they’ve been torturing their fans for years.”
Metallica’s last album was ‘Death Magnetic’ released in 2006 to a less than stellar reception.
“It will be interesting to see if this actually does anything to unseat the Taliban. They are hardened fighters now and have endured endless battles against the greatest military force ever assembled so there is no doubt that they are seasoned, but from what I’ve heard they haven’t unleashed ‘ReLoad’ yet so that could change everything,” continued Chambers. “That was a really awkward time and I’m sure even the Taliban forces would feel the pain and possibly just lay down their arms, I know I would.”
Metallica has no plans for a new album which few people are looking forward too anyway.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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