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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > OUSTED PRESIDENT OF KYRGYZSTAN KEEPS TALKING LIKE ANYONE CARES
OUSTED PRESIDENT OF KYRGYZSTAN KEEPS TALKING LIKE ANYONE CARES
April 12 2010
Teyit, Kyrgyzstan – Perhaps the most famous coups d’états in history is the Ides of March which saw Julius Caesar assassinated in an attempt to gain control of the Roman Republic. That coup was not the first and far from the last as names such as 
Caligula, William of Orange, Napoleon Bonaparte, Fidel Castro, and the Shah of Iran have added to the lineage of leaders who were either undone or made by a violent overthrow. Thought western states have stabilized to a point where such actions are unlikely there are still many nations throughout the world where rebellion and coups are common.
Kyrgyzstan is not a nation well known to much of the world. As a small landlocked nation that for decades suffered under the yoke of Soviet control, the nation sits on two lands, far less famous than many of its Asian neighbours and not a part of the mass of Europe that world ensure it global presence. Nonetheless the nation has continued to exist, bordering better known nations such as Kazakhstan and China, and thrived in its own little world. When word came on Wednesday that the President of that country, Kurmanbek S. Bakiyev, had been overthrown after a series of violent protests much of the world yawned even as he continued to jabber on as though anyone was interested in his fate, or the fate of his country.
“I'm the head of state. I denounce this coup and I reject this so-called interim government. They must step down for the good of our people and the good of the country. We must restore the rightful government to the people of Kyrgyzstan immediately,” said Bakiyev from his palatial retreat in Teyit. “My conscience is clear. I have done nothing wrong and I must be returned to my rightful place as head of the country, a position to which I was elected and sworn to uphold. This illegal coup must end immediately.”
Bakiyev is accused of authorizing a military crackdown which resulted in the deaths of dozens, or something like that, which led to his ouster.
“There are many countries where something like this would be a very, very big deal like
say Russia or China or the United States. Really if it happened in any western nation 
or any major economy it would cause a huge stir but in Kyrgyzstan, well it’s just really not that big of a deal. I mean for the people there it’s relevant and for the leaders it’s their jobs but for everyone else it’s not even a sidebar,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “I mean if it’s a slow news day, sure, but that only means that nothing else is going. Nobody really cares no matter how much he talks about it or complains about losing his job. It’s a nothing country in the middle of nowhere, realistically, and matters to no one really. I can’t even spell the name of country and I bet no one else can either.”
Neighbouring countries such as Uzbekistan apparently could care less either. 
“Really there are more important things going on in the world like the recent release of Lord of the Rings on Blu-ray. It’s so stupid that they released the original editions of the films rather than the extended cuts which were so much better. Very few people who would double dip on these movies would want the theatrical cut yet they release that one first. So dumb,” continued Hander. “Things like that are going to be the death of the format and they need to move away from it. They need to start treating customers fairly rather than trying to rip them off. And where the H are all the classics? There’s a few out but the all super expensive. So dumb.”
It is not believed that the rioting in Kyrgyzstan had anything to do with the Lord of the Rings Blu-ray release.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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