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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > VLADIMIR PUTIN ARRIVES TO PUT OUT MASSIVE RUSSIAN FIRE PERSONALLY
VLADIMIR PUTIN ARRIVES TO PUT OUT MASSIVE RUSSIAN FIRE PERSONALLY
August 1 2010
Moscow, Russia – For a few years in the 1990’s the mighty Russian bear went into hibernation, hiding from the rest of the world. That absence from the wider world was a surprise for many considering not only the recent history of the nation, but also the 
centuries of power and dominance the country has wielded over its region. The bear did awaken however and with renewed vigour and under dynamic leadership has once again positioned itself as one of the preeminent states on the globe.
Of course like any nation Russia still has her challenges, something very apparent in the wildfires raging across the European part of the country. Antiquated equipment and poor training have resulted in an exponential growth in the fires consuming the area north of Moscow, driving thousands of people from their homes and killing at least twenty-five. On Friday the government ordered military troops into the region to assist with the fight against the heat wave induced infernos but have also sent in a special weapon. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has personally flown into the Nizhnenovogorod region and has already torn off his shirt, grabbed a fire hose, and started to show everyone how fighting a fire is to be done. In the few hours since his arrival the fire has reportedly already been reduced by twenty percent.
“The situation is really difficult. Unfortunately, we do not have the capacity rapidly to solve such disasters. We must resettle people in various places temporarily, in normal, sanitary conditions of course, and there must be a doctor because this is a huge psychological stress,” said Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. “We are making the best efforts we can to ensure that these fires are extinguished. We have sent in our best people and yes the Prime Minister is in the region working with emergency personnel. We believe that these fires will be extinguished within a few hours.”
Putin reportedly doffed his shirt immediately after stepping off the helicopter and threw it towards a group of waiting fans.
“This is a great relief to all of us in the region. We have been totally at the mercy of
these fires and we have been totally unable to do anything to stop their spread. We are very glad that the government has responded to our requests and sent this help that we so need at this moment,” said a local official. “We are also very glad that the Prime Minister has come to help personally. Not only will his effort help boost the spirits of the people but his contribution to the fight will no doubt be of incredible help. We have suffered under this trauma but we can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is a very bright light indeed. Our many thanks the Kremlin and particularly to Prime Minister Putin.”
Local officials are also expecting an increase in sales of Putin memorabilia which could help in economic recovery.
“Wildfires may be something that people in California are used to experiencing but this
is Russia where they people burn fires, fires do not burn people. There have record high temperatures throughout the country and it has put them in this spot. They simply don’t have the equipment or experience to deal with things like this. Luckily they still have Putin,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “From what I’ve heard he rode in on a horse with a fire hose in tow and has been seen handling up to three of them at once. Basically, he’s just shoving the firefighters aside and beating back the flames, almost through sheer will. I’m sure by the end of the weekend the problem will be solved.”
Putin also killed fourteen bears nine deer and on tiger on his way to the afflicted area.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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