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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > CHINA SET TO BAN ENGLISH AHEAD OF WORLD DOMINATION
CHINA SET TO BAN ENGLISH AHEAD OF WORLD DOMINATION
December 23 2010
Beijing, China – The word. Everything began with the word. While certain advances such as the use of tools helped drive human beings forward, it was our ability to communicate sophisticated and detailed emotions and warnings that truly made our 
brains bigger, that allowed human culture to evolve, and pushed us to become the species we have become. All that began with the word, it gave us the ability to truly succeed as a species.
Of course our success as a species has made the word more complicated. The spread of human beings across the globe has diversified language in profound ways, creating thousands of unique dialects representing the diversity of the planet but, in a great historical irony, has also driven us further apart. The very facility that pulled humanity together has now pushed us apart. Things are changing though and in today’s interconnected world difference in language, though still omnipresent, have become less important in the day-to-day functioning of our global community. Still, a great deal of pride exists amongst native speakers of those languages. Despite, or perhaps because of, the growing ubiquity of English many countries have started to take austerity measures to ensure their language survives, the latest of which is China, the heir apparent to world power which has banned English throughout the country, something deemed likely for the planet when they eventually take over.
“Publishing houses and the media must further strengthen the regulated use of foreign languages and respect the structure, glossary and grammar of the Chinese and foreign languages. It is banned to mix at will foreign language phrases such as English words or abbreviations with Chinese publications, creating words of vague meaning that are not exactly Chinese or of any foreign language,” said the General Administration of Press and Publication. “These practices severely damaged the standard and purity of the Chinese language and disrupted the harmonious and healthy language and cultural environment, causing negative social impacts. We must preserve the sanctity of the Chinese language for future generations.”
The ban currently applies only to publications but it’s believed the government will quickly crackdown on the spoken word as well, eliminating so-called ‘Chinglish’ from everyday use.
“It may at this stage be very difficult to cease the use o these words in everyday life. Banning such phrases from newspapers and such will change some phrasing, but will not totally eliminate the influence of English throughout the country. It has become so integrated into usage that it is difficult to tell that it is foreign at all,” said Chinese expert James Bao. “English is a major part of popular culture here in Asia as it is in most of the rest of the world and that influence will not be easily erased. Much of Chinese culture is influenced by global culture, that is unavoidable in today’s world, and while these actions may work to prevent new influxes of English, it will not erase those influence which already exist, at least until China takes over the world. Then everything will be controllable.”
It’s not clear when China will take over the planet.
“English is actually quite an amazing language. It is relatively easy to learn, it is widely spoken, and it draws influence and even words from other languages like a sponge. That has made it as close to a Lingua Franca as human beings have ever had and perhaps the best chance we have at a global voice,” said Scrape TV Asian analyst Wu Yao-nu. “Asian cultures though in particular have long prided themselves on their language and their culture. It has been around for a very long time and they quite rightly want to maintain that however they may be better off accepting some influence rather than fighting it. I think that even when China does take over the world it will be very difficult to eliminate all other languages, unless of course their population is at a size where they could just eliminate everyone and start over. It would be funny if they did that and Engrish still persisted, language then will start all over again.”
China has also announced that they will ban all products made in Sweden for no apparent reason.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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