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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > HEATING COSTS EXPECTED TO SKYROCKET AFTER SPANISH WOMAN PURCHASES THE SUN
HEATING COSTS EXPECTED TO SKYROCKET AFTER SPANISH WOMAN PURCHASES THE SUN
November 28 2010
Salvaterra de Mino, Spain – As our knowledge of the Universe continues to grow we have answered many questions. However for every mystery we solve, it seems dozens more pop up to tantalize our imaginations. The Universe is a massive rabbit hole down
which there are wonders beyond anything we can imagine, sights that even our great-great-great-great-great grandchildren may never be able to witness. We do though have some answers about the mysteries of the Universe, answers that in many ways are the most important to us and our continued existence.
At heart of our mini-universe is a beating, pulsing giver of life, the thing that gives us the air we breathe and the ability to explore the deeper mysteries of the beyond. That object is of course the sun, the glowing ball of nuclear power that sustains all life on our planet and, in more poetic terms, gives our lives vitality and meaning. However, all of that may be about to change after the announcement that a Spanish woman, 49 year-old Angeles Duran, has registered a claim on the Sun making it legally hers. While at first glance such a claim may seem ridiculous, Duran’s proclamation of her intent to profit on that ownership has many concerned that the days of free light and heat may be gone forever. 
“There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first. I will now charge a fee for using the sun, half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 percent will go to the pension fund. 10 percent will go to research, another 10 percent towards ending world hunger and the rest I will take,” said Duran. “It is time to start doing things the right way, if there is an idea for how to generate income and improve the economy and people's wellbeing, why not do it?”
Duran decided to lay claim to the sun after reading of an American man who snagged the rights to the moon, something which has yet to turn a profit.
“According to international law no country is able to lay claim to extra-earth bodies or
territory but nothing in that law prohibits private citizens from doing so. Simply put, no one has ever thought of doing this before and so the Sun has remained neutral and available to anyone,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “It really is a brilliant move and it’s surprising that no one else has thought of it before. The sun is something required for all life on the planet and so it is just natively a money generator. Other bodies in the system may also be able to generate income in the long run, but if the sun runs out or we decide not to pay, then we may be doomed.”
The region in which Duran lives is a notoriously wet and soggy area, something she intends on changing.
“Obviously there are going to be challenges in collecting revenues from everywhere and
there are certainly going to be issues in trying to collect from everyone, but even pulling dollars from a significant portion of the population of the planet will result in huge profits, even if you don’t charge very much,” continued Green. “This could also mean great things for Spain as a whole. The country has been struggling recently and a sudden influx of billions of dollars would mean huge thing for the stabilization of the economy. I’m sure a lot of people are going to be unhappy with the extra fees this will result in, but like many things we are just going to have to adjust to the new realities as they are.”
Duran reportedly plans on charging Portuguese citizens a premium for access to solar light.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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