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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > THE APOCALYPSE COMES EARLY FOR AUSTRALIA
THE APOCALYPSE COMES EARLY FOR AUSTRALIA
January 2 2011
Brisbane, Australia – On the surface Australia is as close to paradise as has ever been on planet Earth. Warm weather all year round, beautiful and rich scenery, and isolated from many of the problems that plague other nations, Australia has all the 
makings of a perfect place to live. The reality of course is far from that as home to numerous species of poisonous spiders and venomous snakes, sharks, and all manner of violent wildlife has made the country a hard fought for land with death and danger at every corner.
Even with all those challenges, and the challenge of the country first being inhabited by criminals, many of those challenges have been met. The country is of course still no paradise, as no country is, but with all the bounty that exists throughout, no matter the challenges, Australia may be as close to Eden as has ever been accomplished on the planet. It perhaps makes sense then that as the one place on the planet approximating that legendary model of perfection that the apocalypse is coming early to the country. Still recovering from massive wildfires two years ago, the country has now been more or less entirely flooded leading many to believe that the end of times is nigh and Australia is directly in the path of destruction.
“We're just grateful there weren't more casualties. We're focused on preventing any more. It's hard to make the call that the worst is behind us. It's a unique event — parts of the state are still in response mode while others are in recovery. I think we're in the middle of the event. In many ways, it is a disaster of biblical proportions,” said an Australian police official. “This is unlike anything we have ever experienced and unfortunately we feel that the worst is still to come. This was of course not the way we had hoped to start off the New Year and we are deeply concerned that this may very well just be the start of something much bigger.”
Thus far there have been no other signs of biblical doom such as plagues of locusts but such absence does not necessarily indicate a lack of destruction.
“Obviously when people in primarily Christian countries envision the apocalypse they 
envision tales from the Bible. It is kind of a fall back, a go-to but there is no reason to assume that things will turn out exactly as the Bible predicts. Even if there is a God, it’s clear the Bible is largely interpretation and cannot be taken literally,” said Scrape TV Apocalypse analyst Seth Morris. “Keep in mind that no one even knew that Australia existed when those tales were written. That doesn’t mean that the apocalypse isn’t a result of the wrath of God, it just means that our read on things may not be exact. It could also be that the big guy has thought of new ways to do things.”
Reports do indicate a number of frogs on the beaches close to the New Zealand coast.
“It’s very clear that something really dramatic is happening in the country and being that they are the first to change the years, it makes sense to assume that these types of events will quickly envelope the entire world. I know many people believe we still have a year or so left but that is no guarantee,” continued Morris. “There really is no reason to get upset at Australia. They are merely the harbingers of the demise not the cause of it. The fate of the world is inevitable and will it may make us feel better getting angry at the Aussies, it won’t save us or the planet. At least we won’t have to deal with them for the rest of days.”
Norway, it is believed, may be next.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > THE APOCALYPSE COMES EARLY FOR AUSTRALIA
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