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NEWS >POLITICS > GEORGE BUSH FINDS MILLIONS OF MISSING EMAILS INSIDE HIS COMPUTER
GEORGE BUSH FINDS MILLIONS OF MISSING EMAILS INSIDE HIS COMPUTER
December 16 2009
Washington, D.C. – It’s fair to say, no matter which side of the political spectrum you fall on, that the Bush administration was one of the most controversial in the history of the United States. It was perhaps inevitable that a Presidency born from 
the type of controversy that occurred during the election of 2000 that the resulting reign would be, to put in dramatic terms, cursed. 9/11, Iraq, Katrina, economic meltdown are just a few of the less than stellar events that haunted the younger Bush’s Presidency and will forever define it.
Even after leaving office the controversies didn’t seem to end. Chief amongst those lasting issues in the absence of some 22 million official White House emails that apparently went missing as a result of poor record keeping. Emails sent to and from the White House are considered legal documents and therefore must be accounted for in perpetuity. The absence of those files was uncovered as a result of a request under the freedom of information act and was subsequently, apparently, largely recovered as a result of that attention. Though details of exactly where all those emails had been placed has not yet been revealed, it appears that a significant portion of them were on the former President’s computer, a concept that totally confused him.
“Techs have been working to recover these emails for a long time now and have 
largely been frustrated. Part of that is because of how poorly the Bush administration kept their records, but part of that is because a lot of the files physically were not there, they were in the President’s computer,” said a White House email insider.”Apparently he didn’t understand the concept of the files being stored on his computer and just took it home with him. It was sitting in the basement of his house this whole time with a few million of the files stored on it. Even after the techs told him what was on the machine he was little confused, mostly as to why it was so light.”
A similar circumstance occurred, albeit fictionally, in the Ben Stiller film ‘Zoolander’. In that case the mistake almost leads to the assassination of the President of Malaysia, something that likely would not have happened in the Bush Administration.
“While it’s true that many of these emails are largely meaningless, simple 
correspondences, lunch dates, things like that, the recovery of them was essential. It’s not so much the content of them that’s really important, it’s the fact that you cannot allow official documents to simply vanish because someday those that do might be important. The gold goes out with the trash,” said Scrape TV Technology analyst Ken Kevins. “Older people tend to have difficulty understanding a term like ‘Files’ because they are used to the traditional form for that. The similarity in wording often causes confusion amongst the older set even people who have access to really talented advisors like Bush. Of course he’s had a mixed bag when it comes to advisors anyway.”
Reached for comment a spokesperson for the former President stated that he does understand how computer files work and that the missing machine was simply a misunderstanding.
“Now that they have access to the majority of these files a lot of the criticism levied against the administration can end. After all it’s not like they deliberately lost the emails, they were just working on faulty information from their people,” continued Kevins. “Now though everything seems to be more or less good, no damage done, and everyone can move on just like everything else from the last Presidency.”
The Obama administration has vowed complete openness in respect to its email policy but has thus far apparently sent or received none.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > GEORGE BUSH FINDS MILLIONS OF MISSING EMAILS INSIDE HIS COMPUTER
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