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NEWS >POLITICS > JOHN EDWARDS SEX TAPE TO HELP ERECT NEW CAREER PATH
JOHN EDWARDS SEX TAPE TO HELP ERECT NEW CAREER PATH
January 29 2010
Washington, D.C. – There has been much talk in recent years of the instant celebrity. People like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian have popularized the term and the unique type of celebrity that requires limited talent and little or no creative
contribution to popular culture. That particular breed of celebrity, though realistically nothing new in the Hollywood that made stars of people like Marilyn Monroe for no apparent reason, has in recent years also come part in parcel with sex tapes which inevitably do wonders for those very mysterious careers.
In other realms, sex tapes have a slightly different cache. For people who have already accomplished in their respective fields, a sex tape can be an utter disaster, undoing all the hard work that a life well lived inevitably requires. And then there are the grey zones, people who have accomplished and fallen and now seek some sort of redemption and it is into that realm that former Presidential candidate John Edwards has fallen. Once on a very short list for President of the United States, Edwards’ career collapsed amidst talk of an affair, a love child, and a whole lot of lies to cover up the incident. His career derailed, and no his marriage finally at an end, Edwards sad downfall may have suddenly taken a upward turn with news of a sex tape about to make its way to the market.
“There was one tape that was marked 'special, It's a sex tape of Rielle and John Edwards made just a couple of months before the Iowa caucuses,” said former Edwards aide Andrew Young. “It’s definitely him. You clearly see his face for a long time. And I can't speak for the other body parts, but it's definitely his face. You can’t see the woman’s face but she’s very clearly pregnant and that leads me to believe that it was in fact Rielle Hunter.”
Young, once the most loyal aide to Edwards, at first claimed that Hunter’s love child was his own in an effort to protect Edwards. He claims that he found the disc lying in the trash at the Edwards home, though no cameraman has yet been identified indicating a more intimate relationship with the former governor.
“Traditionally sex tapes have had little effect on the careers of male celebrities but we have never had an incident like this. People are genuinely interested in the sordid tale
that Edwards has created so I think in this case the tape could be a huge hit, not only a big seller for whomever grabs the rights but could also launch him on a totally new career path,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “He’s a little old and that’s a major detriment if he wants to pursue a life like Hilton or Kardashian, but if the stories about the size of his member are true, well, let’s just say he could have many more sex tapes in the future.”
Edwards has four children, all of whom would likely be embarrassed if their father became a porn star.
“There are so many unknowns here, so many variables that simply haven’t been dealt with before and that could either mean spectacular things or disastrous things. Ultimately things are going to change and I don’t think this will be the last we see of John Edwards, for all kinds of reasons,” continued Kinsey. “I mean President, of the United States at least, is out, that’s a given just like it is for Paris Hilton or say Tila Tequila but that doesn’t mean there isn’t earning potential just as long as he connects with the right people.”
Edwards has apparently consulted new media experts and has already signed up for a MySpace account.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
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