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NEWS >POLITICS > BABY KILLERS SHARPENING THEIR KNIVES AS HEALTH CARE BILL PASSES
BABY KILLERS SHARPENING THEIR KNIVES AS HEALTH CARE BILL PASSES
March 23 2010
Washington, D.C. – For the last sixty years much of the western world has been living under the mighty, might shadow of the United States. Since the end of the Second World War, the U.S. has grown to unprecedented levels, building the greatest
military force and economic power that the world has ever seen, leaving much of the rest of the world in the dust. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the country has only grown larger, piling on as the rest of the world just looked on longingly.
Despite that success, there is one area however that the United States has fallen far behind the rest of the western world. With the healthcare issue more or less not an issue in Europe, Canada, Japan, the United States has languished far, far behind, leaving millions with limited coverage or none at all, a gap that Presidents have been trying to close for decades. In a country the size of the U.S. the issue of health coverage was never going to be an easy puzzle to solve. Throw in complexities such as HMO’s, insurance companies, and lobbyists and you have a puzzle that many believed might never be solved. However with one of the most 
diligent and controversial acts yet conducted by a President, many piece were put into place on Sunday with the passing of the Obama administration’s health bill. Not yet a done deal, it is the closest to a solution that has ever been had in the United States, and for as many people as it is angering, it is making even more happy, particularly the baby killers who now have legal backing for their dastardly deeds.
“This bill is the best thing to happen to our industry ever. There’s a reason we have been behind this from the beginning, there’s a reason we have been in Washington advocating this bill, rounding up support. This is a watershed day for healthcare and for us,” said a Philadelphia baby killer who preferred to remain anonymous. “We know there are still challenges ahead of us but this bill will give us more freedom than we have ever had to go ahead and keep killing babies.”
One of the biggest objections to the bill has been the softness of the stance on abortion funding which many believe could be manipulated to allow public financing for the procedure.
“A lot of the concerns over the abortion issue is really just politics, it’s a point, an emotional point that many Americans have great passion towards, that can be used to manipulate the entire argument. A wedge to push the bill off the table, or at least the Democrats out of office,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “That’s the game though, always has been, always will. For good or ill however, the action by the Republicans might actually make such concerns actually come to life, so to speak. If baby killers across the United States are supporting the bill then it obviously has value to them.”
Most baby killers have traditionally focussed on unborn foetuses, but may now move towards toddlers with the new openness towards infant murder.
“Unlike abortion doctors, which provide a medical service to willing people, baby killers find people that are susceptible or simply not bright, take their babies, and sell them to underground groups that do God knows what with the remains. Obviously that industry is about to undergo a major overhaul,” continued Kinsey. “Of course that it what the Democrats have wanted for decades. Democrats have traditionally been much more in tune with the murder of the very young, it is bred in the bone for them and this bill is like a dream for them.”
Jimmy Carter reportedly liked foetuses aged between 3 and 5 months.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > BABY KILLERS SHARPENING THEIR KNIVES AS HEALTH CARE BILL PASSES
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