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NEWS >POLITICS > CONDOLEEZZA RICE FOUND ALIVE AND WELL AFTER EXHAUSTIVE SEARCH
CONDOLEEZZA RICE FOUND ALIVE AND WELL AFTER EXHAUSTIVE SEARCH
October 12 2010
Palo Alton, CA – There is little doubt that the face of the United States has changed dramatically in recent times. It wasn’t even fifty years ago when in some areas of the country black people and white people drank from different water fountains and sat in
different areas of the bus. It was only a handful of years ago that the Black Panthers marched through major cities, upsetting the status quo. It was only twenty years ago that bands such as Public Enemy and NWA created violent racial anthems. Now the country is a much different place.
While Barack Obama undoubtedly has done a lot to change the attitudes towards black people in the country, he was not the first major American politician to succeed based on their person rather than their skin colour. Perhaps one of the most significant of those success stories was that of Condoleezza Rice who, though not the first black person in a formidable position, but was the first black woman to achieve that status. Whether a tool of change, or merely a representative of it, Rice’s success was a story that simply could not have been told a few years ago. That success made Rice a household name and a symbol for racial equality, and now it appears that symbol will be preserved after an exhaustive search that has found her alive and well.
“We are happy to report that Ms. Rice was indeed found alive in her Palo Alto home. We had been notified a few days ago that intimates were unable to get hold of her and asked us to step in. We began a search of the surrounding neighbourhood and nearby forests before finally finding her resting at home,” said a police spokesperson. “It appears that Ms. Rice had lost her phone and the battery had run down, resulting in the inability to get a hold of her. Ms. Rice appeared to be in fine condition, though did complain about an aching knee. We do not believe that that injury is related to this current incident.”
Rice also apparently has a memoir due for release, leading many to believe this may have been a promotional stunt.
“While no person should ever be considered a symbol simply because they lived their 
lives, Rice has certainly become something of that in recent years. Rice’s success is something that no black woman before her would ever have dreamed of, never mind accomplished. That may not mean as much as it would have say forty years ago, but it details how much the country has changed,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “By reaching so deep in the political system she made a huge mark not just for black people, but also for women. That in fact may actually be her most important impact, that despite being double-degree minority she had great success because of hard work and brains.”
Rice has been largely absent from the spotlight since leaving office, leading many to assume that she had died or gone incognito in some foreign country.
“Sometimes people simply lose their appetite for the spotlight and that appears to be what happened with Rice. She is releasing this memoir but that is standard for ex-politicians. There’s no indication that it is a ploy to future office or to put herself up as a greater symbol. It may even be part of the contract when you take the job,” continued Kinsey. “It would be very difficult I think for Rice to hide. She’s, well she’s an odd looking woman and that makes her stand out a little more than a regular person. It’s also not like Elvis where there all kinds of people as her, well at least I hope not. That would be a little scary. Anyway, good thing that she’s alive.”
Rice has purchased a land line in the near future, just in case.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
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