U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS >POLITICS > CRITICS RILED AFTER PARDONED TURKEYS SPEND NIGHT IN SWANKY HOTEL
CRITICS RILED AFTER PARDONED TURKEYS SPEND NIGHT IN SWANKY HOTEL
November 24 2010
Washington, D.C. – There are few powers held by the President of the United States alone. The vast majority of decisions are done by committee and are generally held up by partisan politics. Despite being the most powerful person on the planet, there are a
lot of things the President simply does not have power over. However, one area that is the purview of the President and the President alone is the pardon, the freeing of an individual from a prison sentence or persecution totally independent of the will of the public or other politicians.
That power is something used very judiciously, often for fear of long term political repercussions, however occasionally the tool is used in controversial and largely unhelpful ways. For example, the pardoning of Jimmy Hoffa by Richard Nixon, the pardoning of Nixon himself by Gerald Ford, and the pardon of financier Marc Rich by Bill Clinton are all examples of that power being used very much against the will of the people. Occasionally though the will of the people and the will of the President fall in line resulting in absolutely no controversy in pardons, as has always been the case with the yearly turkey pardon. However, this year even that tradition has come into question with critics on both sides of the political spectrum questioning Barack Obama’s actions in releasing a potentially tasty 44-pounder.
“I have my two trusted assistants here, Malia and Sasha for the most important duties I carry out as President. Before everyone heads home for Thanksgiving there is one official duty I am sworn to uphold as the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth,” said Obama before the assembled press corps. “Today I have the awesome responsibility of granting a Presidential pardon to a pair of turkeys. Now for the record let me state that it feels good to stop at least one shellacking this November. This year’s national turkey goes by the name of Apple and his feathered understudy is appropriately named Cider.”
Obama then promptly pardoned the two turkeys. A third, Vinegar, was butchered shortly after the ceremony.
“While we certainly understand that such pardons have become a tradition in the 
country, like everything else this President has done in his tenure this pardon was
done with the same kind of cold, calculated separation from the ordinary person that he has engaged every part of political policy,” said a spokesperson for Sarah Palin. “Many people don’t realize that both these turkeys spent last night comfortably in the W Hotel, a luxury most ordinary Americans couldn’t dream of affording even in the best of times, never mind in these harsh economic times. It says a lot about a President and an administration when the turkeys live better than the vast majority of the population. This is one more clear example of how far removed this administration is from the suffering of ordinary Americans.”
Suites at the W start at $219 a night.
“One can certainly understand where a lot of this frustration comes from. Aside from the turkeys living this luxurious life, the reality is that these are the only pardons that Obama has issued. Throughout his Presidency he has not commuted a single sentence, has not pardoned a single human being, yet he pardons these birds and puts them up in luxury,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “Of course there has to times, periods, when politics have to be put aside. There is likely no political motivation in this pardon and it’s unlikely that the turkeys had full run of the suite at the hotel. It was likely just the easiest way to keep them under wraps. However appearances can make a big difference, and in this Presidency appearances are just about the only thing that seem to matter.”
Meanwhile Palin personally slaughtered two dozen turkeys on the same day.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > CRITICS RILED AFTER PARDONED TURKEYS SPEND NIGHT IN SWANKY HOTEL
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Politics/pages-3/Critics-riled-after-pardoned-turkeys-spend-night-in-swanky-hotel-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html |
TWEET IT! http://bit.ly/gnRIBi |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
