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NEWS >POLITICS > GOP PLAN TO STEAL CHRISTMAS UNCOVERED BY WHITE HOUSE
GOP PLAN TO STEAL CHRISTMAS UNCOVERED BY WHITE HOUSE
July 28 2011
Washington, D.C. – Everyone knows a Grinch. Everyone knows someone who simply can’t get excited about special days, especially Christmas. Sometimes those Grinch’s simply sit in the corner and grumble, but sometimes they go beyond and try to ruin
everyone else’s good time. Those are the real Grinch’s, the same kind of creature immortalized by Dr. Seuss in his famous book. Those are the people who always want to ruin everyone else’s good time in order to make themselves feel better. Everyone knows someone like that.
Few people would argue for the politicians in Washington being anything but Grinch’s. With the seemingly constant debate over the debt ceiling, budget, and all other sorts of challenging economic issues on the table most people just assume that no one has their best interests at heart and that the only real debate is over future election standings. That is of course very frustrating to many people who are struggling, trying to meet ends and to provide for their families. For them, the election itself doesn’t really matter. For ordinary people all that matters is the effect, not the cause. The debate, though, rages on and likely will for a long time to come. The current debate appears to be slowly quieting, but recent comments from inside the White House have revealed that even once this argument ends the real issue will not, and that John Boehner and the rest of the Republican Party have very real plans to steal Christmas from millions of Americans.
“Even if we resolve the current debt ceiling issue and get out relatively unscathed the story doesn’t really end there. This is going to come up again, if the GOP has their 
way, right around Christmas. Right when people are spending money,” said a White House insider. “That is one of the core issues at debate, this two-stage bill that Boehner and the rest of the Republicans are pushing. The second part of the bill will come up at Christmas and ruin it for most Americans, which is exactly what they want.”
White House deputy spokesperson Dan Pfeiffer said more or less the same thing, though stopped short of saying that the GOP actually planned to steal Christmas.
“I doubt it will happen, at least in the extreme case. I doubt that the GOP has the manpower to actually go around to all the houses in America, sneak in, and take all the presents and Christmas decorations. That would be a massive job,” continued the insider. “I would bet, though, that a handful of houses will wake up Christmas morning with nothing. Probably in places near where representatives live and most certainly in the D.C. area. I wouldn’t even be surprised to see Democratic strongholds being the most affected. What better campaign argument would you have? However they go about it I would imagine we will see a lot of disappointed families this December 25th.”
Boehner himself has apparently always been stingy with Christmas gifts in his family.
“It will be very sad if this thing goes that long and if people do have their Christmas’ ruined. That is the one time of the year when people don’t need to worry about ordinary things, about budgets and debt and all those silly things. They worry about those thing on December 26th, but for that day they can forget about all that stuff,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “It’s a rough political climate now and that peace may just go away this year. It will be very sad to have all those children across the country waking up to find no gifts, no trees, and the cookies and milk all eaten away. I can’t think of a better symbol for the state of America than that.”
Reportedly, a costume manufacturer in Boehner’s home state of Ohio has received a record number of requests for Santa suits already this year.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > GOP PLAN TO STEAL CHRISTMAS UNCOVERED BY WHITE HOUSE
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