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NEWS >POLITICS > MAGICAL TERRORIST PALESTINIANS ANGERING NEWT GINGRICH
MAGICAL TERRORIST PALESTINIANS ANGERING NEWT GINGRICH
December 14 2011
Washington, D.C. – It’s strange, really, that with all the major issues around the world, issues that could have a real impact on the way Americans live their lives, that things keep came back down to the issues between the Israelis and the Palestinians. While some would argue that powerful Jewish lobbies keep that issue in the news, which is a factor, the real reason the conflict stays so prominent is far less clear than that.
For years, Republican politicians have had an obsession with Israel and the issues in that region. Far removed from issues like oil production or even the Jewish lobby – Obama had 78 percent of the Jewish vote last election – it has become an odd part of the Conservative agenda and mindset, as essential as abortion and gun rights.
Because of that obsession, the issue has inevitably come up amongst candidates for the Republican nomination, particularly Newt Gingrich who in the weekend debate took his harshest stand yet against the Palestinians. Calling them terrorists in that debate, just days after calling them imaginary, Gingrich it appears has firmly brought these magical and mysterious terrorist creatures into the public discourse again.
“Somebody ought to have the courage to tell the truth. These people are terrorists. They teach terrorism in their schools. They have textbooks that say, if there are 13 Jews and nine Jews are killed, how many Jews are left? We pay for those textbooks through our aid money. It’s fundamentally time for somebody to have the guts to stand up and say, enough lying about the Middle East,” said Gingrich.
Mitt Romney disputed Gingrich’s earlier claims that the Palestinians didn’t really exist but not the terrorist part.
It’s not clear how imaginary people would be able to commit terrorist acts, though traditionally other imaginary creatures are able to cause real world harm like stealing gold. Leprechauns also bother Gingrich.
“For centuries, millennia really, Palestine had existed in one form or another so this notion that the state didn’t exist is just silly. It’s there in the history books, both Arab and Jewish history books. Even American ones for the most part so that is a ludicrous claim,” said Scrape TV Historical analyst Lars Luger. “Palestine was real place with real people living in it and that make the Palestinian people real. It hasn’t existed for the last sixty years or so but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist historically. Sixty years is a long time to remember but luckily history books don’t require memory. You can read them.”
Gingrich has noted in the past that creatures like elves and goblins have also been documented in books, but that they are also not real.
“The bigger question I guess isn’t whether or not Palestinians are real, or whether or not they are terrorists, but whether or not people believe it. I suppose that if enough people believe in a story it can kind of come to life, like sasquatches or fake moon landings, and that is the real concern,” continued Luger. “Gingrich hasn’t said anything about those issues and it would be interesting to hear his views on them. Of course Sasquatch lobbyists are far less powerful in Washington and that makes the debate far less valuable politically.”
Anti-Loch Ness Monster lobbyists have reportedly been significant contributors to the Gingrich campaign.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
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