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NEWS >POLITICS > NEWT GINGRICH PLANNING ON BRINGING MASSIVE MOON MIRROR IDEA BACK AS PRESIDENT
NEWT GINGRICH PLANNING ON BRINGING MASSIVE MOON MIRROR IDEA BACK AS PRESIDENT
December 17 2011
Washington, D.C. – Not many people know this, but Newt Gingrich has his head in the clouds. Well, actually way above the clouds and in space. Prior to his life as a serious contender for President, New Gingrich did many things including predicting the future.
Remarkably, some of his predictions, like cell phones on the battlefield, have come true. Other predictions, though, have fallen flat, like lasers to shoot down missiles. Gingrich, though, has never been one to just sit back and accept things as they are and, once he is elected President, will make an effort to resurrect some of those old ideas and bring them into reality.
Of particular interest to Gingrich ism, apparently, a notion he had for a giant mirror orbiting the planet, capable of focusing light on the darkest corners of the nation, literally, to help eradicate crime. While such a thing might seem like science fiction, or even fantasy, it has already worked its way into Gingrich’s plans once these pesky election are over and he is able to take his rightful place as President of the United States.
“Newt loves the mirror, we all love the mirror. Frankly, we aren’t all sure that this is the best time to do it. I mean the country has a number of other problems right now and so making a giant mirror is not really at the top of the list, but if President Gingrich wants it, President Gingrich gets it. We aren’t here to argue, we are here to do what the President wants,” said an insider with the Gingrich campaign. “It’s going
to be hard to make work but if it does, well that will pretty much be that. Not only will it eradicate all crime, at least night crimes, it will also put a lot of people to work and that is a good thing.”
It’s not clear how Gingrich plans to launch a giant mirror, or even a series of smaller mirrors, into space and focus them on the billions of dark corners across the nation, but he appears ready to try.
“Newt doesn’t just say things. When he says things he means them. He made this prediction back in 1995 because he thought it was a good idea and he still does. It’s not his fault that the people who have come before him chose not to follow up on the plan, but it would be his fault if he did nothing to make sure it happened,” continued the insider. “The giant space mirror isn’t the only reason he is running for President but it’s a big one. Frankly, this isn’t something he had predicted, becoming President, but this is one time that he is fine with things altering from the path he set out because it’s for the greater good.”
Gingrich made many other predictions that have not come true, presumably because he hasn’t been President long enough to make them happen.
“Going off on these flights of fancy are going to be a tough sell for any politician, even Newt Gingrich. The people of America right now need stability and assurance, not giant mirrors in space. I mean if it worked it would give them some assurances, at least the people who aren’t criminals, but actually making it happen is something a little sketchy at best,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “Never mind all the police, lawyers, and judges who will be out of work once all the crime is cleaned up. I know giant mirrors will take a lot of people to build and maintain but you really do need to look at the net not the gross, and that is where this whole thing will break down for President Gingrich. If he doesn’t look at like that, well I guess only he knows what the future will bring.”
Gingrich has long had giant mirrors throughout his many homes, lighting up the dark corners and keeping his family safe.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
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