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NEWS >POLITICS > NEWT WEEPS AS IOWA SLOWLY SLIPS OUT OF HIS GRASP
NEWT WEEPS AS IOWA SLOWLY SLIPS OUT OF HIS GRASP
December 30 2011
Des Moines, IA – For a little while it seemed that Newt Gingrich was the man to beat in Iowa. At his peak, he enjoyed an incredible lead, 33 percent of polled voters, but things have changed only days before the election, dropping Gingrich to fifth place in the polls.
Gingrich’s collapse has been so steep, in fact, that he is now sitting behind Rick Santorum who has rarely been in the double digits, never mind being able to top a former front runner. While only the start of the primary season, a crushing loss like the one that appears to be imminent for Gingrich may well be the beginning of the end of his Presidential aspirations, and while publicly he is not acknowledging that, privately he has apparently turned to tears to salve his hurting heart.
“I get teary-eyed everytime we sing Christmas carols. My mother sang in the choir and loved singing in the choir. And I don't know if I should admit this, but when I was very young she made me sing in the choir and we had pictures of me at a very young age singing in the choir,” Gingrich said amidst his tears during a campaign stop.
While on the surface those tears may have seemed isolated, Gingrich has apparently rarely been dry since his numbers started to dip.
Gingrich has apparently been crying so much that doctors are worried about his hydration levels, even considering putting him on an IV to keep his fluids up.
“Newt, Newt is sad. Things seemed to be going so, so well and now things are in the toilet. There’s no point trying to see it another way. I mean polls and votes are two different things, but it’s pretty clear at this stage that Iowa is lost and we have to move on. It’s distressing to all of us, but particularly to Newt,” said a campaign insider. “He was so hopeful at the start of the month. It was such a high moving up so fast and strong in the polls, but then this happened. It’s the worst Christmas present ever, honestly. Newt is very, very unhappy.”
Gingrich has reportedly also been spending most of his free time alone in hotel rooms, the sound of sobbing so loud that campaign workers have been forced to turn up their TV’s in order to prevent other guests from hearing.
Gingrich has also hired a tissue expert who is on hand at all times to keep him flush.
“We are optimistic about the other Primaries, but a big loss here will certainly hurt. It’s not time to throw in the towel yet, but that may be coming soon. The big fear for us is that Newt will throw it in too early, being so upset, and that would not be a good thing,” continued the insider. “We are very concerned about his emotional state beyond the election as well. We all like Newt and we want him happy and that is not what he is right now and that, perhaps even more than the polling numbers, is upsetting the whole staff. Not to the point of crying, not yet anyway. We don’t want Newt to think we are making fun of him, that would just get him angry.”
The Romney campaign has reportedly sent a number of boxes of tissues to the Gingrich campaign, as a kind of peace offering.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
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